i don't get why every single morning i wake up with a sore lower back, neck and hips just from sitting in a wheelchair or sleeping in a bed. i didn't hurt like this before when i could walk, and quite frankly i am starting to get cranky in the mornings just cuz i ache. well..... not just cuz i ache i guess, partly due to really having to get to the bathroom with a black and white roadblock sitting or standing or laying right in my way. how do you explain to michael about 48 year old bladders that are in a hurry?! he doesn't care! we are in conflict over this and i got really mad at him the other early morning so now i am shutting him out of the back hallway at night which means he can't sleep in my room. michael is not happy about this, he thinks i am selfish and mean. ok, so i am, but i have a reason, even if he doesn't understand or think it is particularly valid when weighed against what he needs.
which brings to mind other conflicts i am stuck in since my confinement to wheelchair-hood. and there are a couple. and like with michael i feel quite bad. but feeling bad is just the pricetag attached. cuz when push comes to shove i do what i have to since i don't have a ton of options to choose from right now. life was alot easier and simpler and easier to navigate when i could just pick a different path past a road block or look for an easier way to get to where i needed to go.
and the saddest thing of all is that i see this giant of all roadblocks named carol, parked in her wheelchair and refusing to budge cuz she has to make choices from limited options or she is going to end up incontinent or in some other kind of not so fun trouble too.
ahhhh, life truly sucks sometimes....59 days and counting