it is not that i am unkind, uncaring or mean....

but...saints provides sanctuary care to homeless senior and special needs animals. we are not a social service agency, we are not a political advocacy group, we are not a business or consumer driven enterprise, we are not the answer to other peoples prayers. we are simply a rescue group that may briefly and periodically venture into other arenas as issues arise but our mandate is providing a sanctuary for homeless senior and special needs animals.

so...what determines special needs (since senior is self explanatory)...pheobe was young and once her ringworm was cleared up, she was a healthy dog...except everyone wanted to kill her. phebes in my mind was special needs because she needed above and beyond and very special to keep her safe and happy til she found a great home. kissy and annie are not special needs except to give them the life they deserve entails ensuring they are not exploited and sheep are for eating or breeding or herding so preventing exploitation is pretty darn hard. and certainly ellie and percy are young and obviously very healthy so they aren't special needs either except their only purpose to mankind at all is as dead meat for us to market somehow so ensuring quality and value in life is not all that easy for food animals in general. ellie and percy were no exception. i consider them all special needs if they need something more than what most in society will ensure. and i guess it is a judgement on my part as i determine who meets special needs or not and who i am willing, under what circumstances, to provide above and beyond special care as needed.

so why exactly did i turn away a young homeless woman today who wanted us to care for her 2 shitzu's til she found a new home? in all honesty? pure judgemental practicality. i don't ever return animals to people who leave them here unless they meet my adoption criteria and in order to be able to legally make that determination, the animals must legally belong to saints. i told her she could sign them over to saints and i would find them a great home. but i would not board them here for free or for payment until if and when her life came back together and then return them to her once she was ready. that is not what saints does. we find great homes for homeless animals or we work really hard to give them a really great home here. but we are not the answer to everyone with a pet and a problem because the homes i choose don't have problems that negatively affect their pets.

it has been an ongoing struggle for me to keep my human caregiving separate from my animal caregiving because i truly do feel for the difficulties of both species. but carol the caring human, and carol the rescuer and carol the nurse and carol the mother, and carol the friend, and carol the sister all have different responsibilities and different times when they come to the forefront and today it was carol in charge of saints that said "no"

it is wierd how conflicted my life has become as more and more people assume that the person i am is who will help them find whatever it is that they think they need. i am not unkind, uncaring or mean but i am not superman either and it has taken me 48 years to learn this and to draw my crooked lines in the shifting sand.

but...i do hope that the dogs and their lady land safely even if i wouldn't let it be here.