Rescue Journal

The Bottom Line

Carol  ·  Jan. 21, 2014

nice try at re-direction jenn, so sorry I can't cooperate..but I love you so please forgive me.

I am not sure how far the attitude and belief that I am living MY exhilarating dream on the backs of our supportors and volunteers has spread here... but I do need to address that statement.

this is not MY dream is for a small but cosy and safe home where people who like me are invited to enter. my dream is to be able to be myself and live my life in my own little world where no one gives a shit about who I am supposed to be. I dream of peace, privacy and harmony. where I am now is hundreds of miles away from that.

I built the saints dream for the they had a place of comfort, of kindness and respect when there was no where else for them to go. I built this out of a sense of compassion but also duty and responsibility to pay them back for their life long service to man.

I am at a cross roads where the demands of saints is infringing upon my rights as a human being.

I do not really have the option of saying fuck it and tossing in the towel...too many animals counting on me. and quite frankly I feel no need to abandon them, they are not the current problem.

lets be honest here, there is absolutely no point in anyone trying to force me out or undermine my power because I own the farm.

people who are dissatisfied with me personally always and respectfully have the option to walk.

I will no longer allow anyone to put the animals here at risk by sucking the very strength out of me that I need to be here for them. I am their greatest single resource.

so...either this cancerous toxic negativity stops here and now or I will start asking people to leave.

this is MY home and this is the ANIMALS dream and the people who come here will respect these two very simple things.

edited to add..

I want to thank folks for the supportive comments..they are greatly appreciated. however, I am going to turn off the comments on this post because I have said what I needed to say and tomorrow I hope to start over in a brand new positive day and put all of this behind us. comments on this post will just bring this bump in the road forward into tomorrow.