Rescue Journal

Sleeping saints, wakeful sinners.

Alison  ·  Aug. 12, 2006

Wow, sleep (or lack there of) is becoming a major issue for me. Unlike the dogs and cats who seem to be able to curl up for a nap at will, for me it is a struggle. It doesn't help that yesterday morning i skipped the whole sleep thing altogether after my night shift. I needed to get hay and do the dump run and clean the barn in the morning and the afternoon was devoted to my visiting sister and her husband who I haven't seen for almost a year. Family visits are a little bit stressful for me, it is not exactly like I am the "normal" sibling. I wanted them to like the place, and like the animals and not think I was nutz. After the tour, we mostly sat in the kitchen and had some tea. Michael and Toby entertained us with their never ending search for absolute anything. I made a bunch of the other guys stay outside, they did not like that, but on this particular day, I felt safety in less numbers. Somehow the animals have gotten the impression that ALL visitors are here for them. Mostly true but not this time. Being slightly dazed and confused from lack of shut eye, i was even more aware, that if not careful, nutty might pop in if I wasn't careful. And then I hit upon a plan...dinner out. We all piled in to our own vehicles and headed to town so they could continue on to their hotel later (I really do need to look at getting some guest accomondations set up here). We had a really nice and relaxing dinner, and when I got home and finished the last of the chores, I went to bed. I couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned and watched all the animals sleeping blissfully around me. I was jealous. I am sitting here writing this because I should be getting ready for work this morning and I don't want to move, they are all still sleeping and now I want to join them. I have learned alot of things from all of the animals over the years, the one lesson that I just can't seem to grasp, is the absolute ease of sleep. I think it is because animals spend their lives waiting, and we spend our lives doing things that make them wait even longer. This year my goal is to learn to wait, that might be a good thing to learn. I bet I will sleep better too.



Somehow I don't think that "waiting" is the key, for me at least. I associate waiting with impatience or longing or frustration. I think that animals are calmer than that. I think, perhaps, "acceptance" is a better word. Oh, that I could accept the way things are in life. To not try and change things so much and so quickly too. To not try and make life fit my agenda and how things ought to be. Then perhaps, I too could simply close my eyes and sleep. Sweet dreams Carol. I know that all the others already have them. :)


It must be there ability to let things go and not worry. I have a hard time falling asleep especially if there's alot on my mind, things I need to do etc. Sometimes it's just hard to find the off button. Considering your schedule Carol and the fact that you live with the furry guys, I don't doubt it's hard to sleep especially when your routines have been changed with this new job. Hopefully things will even out a little more for you next month. Pretty hard to focus on anything with no sleep!!!!!