whether they go into the perfect home or they pass from this world to the next, they are not with us anymore. when they die, i never have to worry about them again, we did what we could do, we try to find them homes or give them some happiness when we fail to find them a home. in order to give them that bit of happiness, you absolutely have to love them and they have to feel it through and through. some animals aren't easy to love, some animals, for whatever reason, just are not a perfect fit in our human world. and some animals you have to look hard and long to really, truly, find that spark to make them fit inside you. once they fit, even if this is the wrong place for them, they know that there is one place safe where they can be who they are and still be loved.
phebes was like that for me. for all of her pain and all of her trauma, and all of her past failures to find a place in a heart, she found one in mine. and she knew it. so watching her questioning little face as she looked at me thru the window as they drove away and i know, she wonders, why did i let her go. dogs like phoebe, i worry about forever because i can only have faith that her new family is what she needs. my head says that they will try, and my heart says that they will do their best but i never know with phoebe herself whether she will try and do her best too. if all the stars align and this was meant to be, then we just gave phebers the gift of her life. and if it is not, then i will worry that she stays safe until she comes home again.
it is so quiet here this morning, some animals take up a whole house with their presence. some animals take over a whole huge heart if you just give them an inch or two.