oh man, life sometimes astounds me.

i am avoiding the phone tonight, i am sure there is trouble brewing somewhere for someone that i don't want to deal with cuz all i have inside me, is for dealing with all the stuff with the animals here right now.

i drove home from work and got within 5 minutes of home, i was soooo close and then i remembered, shit! i forgot to pick up patches the bunny from the vets. sigh, i turned around and drove back into maple ridge to get him.

i forgot him because i was worried about tom and michael and ruby and jeanette and that little duck with the crippled leg. he keeps flipping over on his back and he can't right himself.

so since i am not answering the phone or reading the emails tonight and avoiding any possible headaches, i grabbed tom and sweet pea and hid out in my little den with the ducks to watch a movie. it was a very bad movie. i watched the ducks instead.

that little duck amazes me. he launches himself with one leg, right across the cage to the food and water and then he launches himself back to the other end underneath the light where it is warm. sometimes he flips over part way there and he struggles for a couple of seconds and then just patiently naps til i reach in and turn him right side up again and then he finishes his journey. there is amazing grace in that tiny little bird. he looks very strong and healthy except for that leg and he is so accepting of the difficulties in his barely begun life and he still tries as hard as he can and because he tries so hard he is getting enough to eat and drink to be strong. but sometimes being strong is not enough. sometimes as strong as you are doesn't win you the fight. that little guy is fighting for his life and i don't know if he can win.

i really need to name him but i can't think of a name that is great enough. and part of me does not want to name him because i cannot see how he can possibly survive.

yet....hope floats as always. i asked the vet about him today and they said MAYBE they could surgically somewhat repair and splint that deformed leg and foot so it would maybe fixate itself in such a way as to be of some better use to him. the risks are huge in doing surgery on a days only old duckling, and it would have to be done very soon before the leg and foot atrophy forever into uselessness.

sigh, i think we might be doing surgery on a tiny little duck.