sigh, i can tell that people are upset with clyde. they are trying not to be, but they are. everyone loves michael, our much beloved and most ancient troll, and it hurts them to think that he was so badly abused.
i don't know if i can explain this so that clyde doesn't become the bad dog that no one likes here, but i am going to give it a shot.
i try to give every consideration to the dogs as much as i would to humans. they aren't human, and my considerations for them encompass this, including that they have different rules. if their heads are messed up at any given point, even those rules go out the window. i know this and i accept this part of caring for another species, it makes it easier to love them all...even the ones that are harder to love.
clyde scared michael, badly. michael has scared his share of others too. clyde at least had a scrambled brain excuse, michael however did not. michael was just was another grumpy old dog.
i am afraid that clyde's emotional wellbeing is in trouble right now. he did something really bad and he hurt someone we all love and who is so soon to pass away. and clyde did all that before he became known and accepted and cherished here. the difficult dogs always have a difficult time fully becoming saints. part of it is due to their difficult issues, part of it is due to their segregation from everyone else and the resulting lack of opportunity for everyone to get to know them. and because not everyone has had a chance to be with clyde and really feel him digging around inside them, it makes it even harder to bond with him when something really bad is hanging over his shoulder....like messing with our most precious troll.
with time, phoebe dug herself in to people and she is an utter bag to the little ones (altho no one has seen her real haggy self at it's worst except me), and potato ed had a fan club too and he was a horror to everyone that he met.
i hope people can forgive clyde and take some time to get to know and love him too. he really is a very sweet and sensitive and funny little guy when he is not being a jerk.
on to other things....
i am fully comfortable with the passing of both tom and michael tomorrow, both of them have stopped eating and neither had more than a bite of pizza tonight too. i think they are ready.
ruby, i am still struggling with because it is her lack of attachment that is causing me trouble. she is old...18. is she not attaching because she is just too old to care and is quite content to sleep and eat the good stuff around here and simply is not interested in more or is she not attaching because she is sad and just wants to be done? she looks pathetic, and she walks pathetically with that old broken leg. but i honestly, don't think she is in pain (she gets good drugs) and i don't think she feels all together very ill either. she sure enjoyed her first pizza night, she eats like a horse, she pees and poops like a trooper too.
i think i will leave it to the vet to guide me on what to do about ruby cuz i just can't find that answer inside me for her. i think i can't find it because i can't hear ruby, ruby does not speak to me. she doesn't want to.
the little crippled duck ( i still have not settled on a name but i am thinking about "tiny tim") goes in for his vet check tomorrow morning. i think they won't be able to fix that foot (maybe the leg, but not the foot) but i guess i will have to wait and see.
i let percy and jeanette down into the lower pasture today. jeanette asked me to let them go down there so i did (this is why it is good to speak to me, cuz then i know what they want). they didn't come back up with the other barn guys at bedtime so i left them out til they decided to come up too. when i went back to check on them, percy and jeanette were laying together with their foreheads touching. and finally i saw that they really like each other and are glad to have each other too.
that was my one really nice thing from today.