Rescue Journal

michael and tom have passed.

Carol  ·  Sep. 8, 2007

i set my alarm early for 6 am so i could have an hour of quiet holding tom in my arms before today started. all i could think about was tom not in my bed cuz he only got kicked out for part of one night the other day and was back in there by that night. his last night was a good night and he didn't lose control of his bladder or his bowels altho once i lifted him out of bed to put him on the dog bed on the floor, he got me. but i didn't mind. donna came early this morning and brought chicken for tom and michael. she held tom in her arms right up til it was time for him to go and then i took him back. i am pretty sure that tom died with a peice of chicken in his mouth, he would be happy about that.

at 7 am, i switched over to michael and gave him a really good bed bath, he had lost control of his bladder during the night. he seemed to enjoy it and stretched out his legs so i could wash those too. i carried him outside but he didn't want to be there so i carried him back in to his clean fresh bed. nicole came early too and she laid on the floor with him for most of the morning. when the vet came he relaxed well into his pre med and i do not think he was afraid.

the loss of tom and michael and jazz and romeo and panda and pops and jesse and bill, all in such a short period of time is hard. all of them long term saints except tom but tom became a solid saint the day he walked into here. eleven saints gone is just a couple of months.

today i am saddend not just for their loss but for the changing face of saints. not that it is better or worse, but it is different here without them.

ruby is still with us. the vet didn't know what to advise. she was honest that she does euth before i do but she also said she is quite comfortable with not euth'ing ruby yet. so ruby is here and i will watch her and decide later cuz i just did not want to do it today.

the crippled little duckling has a name. it is dave. i will use some of the other great names suggested for some of the others. he is dave for a couple of reasons...david and goliaith cuz david slew that giant...and dave our vet cuz if he can fix him, he is our newest hero. the plan is to take dave into the vet on wednsday, they will sedate him and try to re-break and re-set his femur without a surgical incision. if at any point it looks like we just made things worse for the little guy, they are to euth him before he wakes up.

i am tired today. i feel like crying while i write and can feel my eyes welling up and my throat tightening.

this day is a bad day but i wasn't alone. mo and nicole and tammy and donna and lynn and heidi all came to share parts of it too.

and that made it good.

Comments

Darlene (Diane's Sister)

I am so sorry for your losses.......I am sitting here, crying....scared for my 6 babies and when they get old and have to leave........It is the one thing that I hate about animals is that their life span is so short......God bless you, Carol and your volunteers for all the work you do.....May God be with you when you feel your losses........I don't know if you believe in the Rainbow Bridge.....but if God created these wonderful creatures, I am sure that he has a perfect place for them in Heaven....where they will be forever young and free!
Hugs Darlene

Dianne

Though I live far away from Saints, through your blog I feel that I have gotten to know both Michael, Tom and the rest of your crew. The love and commitment you feel for them comes across very clearly to us all. They are very lucky to have you Carol, and the rest of the Saints volunteers. Though each must pass on to a different place, and this is sad for those left behind, they knew they were cherished for who they were living at Saints.

Take care of yourself today.

Larraine

I am sorry to hear of your losses Carol. Thank God for your friends who were with you today. Tom and Michael now at peace. My thoughts are with you. Thank God for Bailey's.

Carol

donna brought me out baileys today. nicole and i had baileys and tea (me) and hot chocolate and baileys (nicole) after the dust all settled this afternoon and the dogs all slept...and i had my own hot chocolate and bailey's tonight as a second treat just cuz i wanted to. and now i am tired and going to bed.

thank you all for your support and kind thoughts, it really has been a very difficult year so far. i am pretty sure there must be something a bit easier for me to get all passionate about instead of animals...i so like that tulip rescue dream.

Johanna

So Sorry, Carol to hear of your losses to-day. It must be very hard to keep going. However, do take care of yourself.

Next time Milo comes out to Saints, he will bring you some Baileys.

All the best at this very sad time.

Johanna

Diane

Once again I my heart goes out to you Carol. So many losses so close together. You must feel so alone without a lot of the "old crew" being there with you. The names of those who have passed recently have been in your blog for so long now I feel like I know them and now their names will be silent. If I lived closer I would pour you a shot of Baileys and give you a hug. Take care of yourself Carol. There are so many more animals that still need you and love you at your rescue. Diane

Deb

The SAINTS kitchen will never be the same now that Michal-the-Troll has gone on to a place where he is once again young and strong, but without being chained and neglected. When Saints die, I always think about the lives they would have led had they been with Carol from day one. It's a useless exercise, but it gives me comfort, because I truly believe that all the SAINTS souls go to a place like the one they left at the Sanctuary, only perfect.
Michael, you hated it when I called you "Mike". You were a grouch and a grump, but God you were loved.
Tiny Tom Thumb, you will leave a hole so much larger than your little body would suggest. Such a huge presence from one so tiny. Watch out for Carol, and cuddle up with her on the cold nights.
So many losses, so many lives to celebrate.

Chris T

I am so sorry for your losses Carol. It has been a very hard couple of months. I sure hope we go into a time where things are a bit more calm. Take care and have a baileys.

Cora

Arrr! This comment box hates me, can anyone let me how I can delete a post? Sorry for the double post, usually it won't post for me, now it does it twice!
Cora

Cora

Carol, it is so sad to read of more Saints having to pass on so soon after the last ones.
Hugs to you and the rest of the crew,
Cora

Sharla

Carol I am so sorry for your losses. I hope you'll take good care of yourself today and cry all you need.

Emma

God Bless Tom and Michael. Thank God for friends, the other saints and Baileys.

Rae

I am so sorry Carol. This summer has been a difficult one for you and everyone at Saints.
Rest in Peace Micheal. The true guardian of the kitchen, you will be missed because just by being you were loved.
Rest in peace sweet little Tom. You in your little green sweater motoring around the small dog room navigating always to the food. You were special to all who loved you and you will be missed.