there is an element to rescue that is mostly beyond me. it is just one of those things that i am not good at. maybe i would be if i wasn't neck deep in animals that have no where else to go. or maybe not.
it is the people aspect, the part that requires such care. and i am careless in this regard for a few different reasons. one is the rebel in me that just has to circumvent road blocks (i am like copper in this.) and the other is because i detest being held captive (and i know why caged animals fight to be free.) and the third reason is because i say what i think because why think something but not say it? (sigh, this would be phoebe)
and maybe the biggest reason has nothing to do with me. maybe i was put here on this earth to do this, or maybe i fell into it by mistake. maybe i built a road with no exits or a room without any doors.
which is truth i might never know, but what i do know is i am here now and i have alot of things that i have to do. and all of them revolve around the animals at saints that live here because no one invites them to live somewhere else.
we are here together, i and the leaky, defective and crippled crew, and this means that they get all the best of me and there is nothing much left over for anything else.
dr. phil would say this is a bad thing, better balance would be a good way to go....but then i think dr. phil is a dork and i don't think i am capable of part time or hobby or convenient comittments...or maybe i just don't want to be.
this is my deep thought tonight, and it really is not anything new. but tonight i see it a bit clearer than i usually do. i might not be good at some important things, but i am pretty good at others.
next life i will ask for ALL of the trump cards and then i can be good at it all.