sigh...i wrote a cheque for the barn feed yesterday for $629.09...i just checked and there is all of $125 in the account, i tranferred the paypal money over but it won't get here for a week or so....which is fine cuz we will need it next week foir something else too. payday is not til friday so i guess this means another credit card advance.
this is the famine before the feast that happens every single year just before christmas. we wait and nervously anticipate christmas donations and hope they are enough to pull us thru and hold us for awhile. this is where the faith part comes in, because in all my years of organized rescue (when i wasn't organized i paid it all myself but it was ALOT less) faith has always been true. and you would think that knowing this, i would stop worrying but i can't. a wish is a wish until it becomes a reality and you never really know what reality will come true. one can only hope.
there are not any full page color christmas vancouver sun newspaper articles on us this year...that was a gift from last year so this year we wait for whatever gifts do come and try not to anticipate them too much. never count your eggs until they are safely in the basket and still make sure you have a back up plan...(mastercard)
feast and famine...that is so typical of rescue, especially rescues in their infancy of under 5 years. after 5 years it generally becomes more stable as you build a good solid base of consistent support. feast and famine are not good for the digestive tract but it teaches you a few things along the way, like always be grateful for each $10 donation because a thousand of those goes a very long way.
when i look back on what we have accomplished in just less than 3 years...quite frankly i am stunned. i think of the ever growing ranks of saints now and past and how one volunteer became a dozen and that single dozen is now inching up into two. i think of the fencing and fields and buildings and projects and even just having a permanent home, and i am almost stunned into silence (but not quite)...we all know silence will never happen with me at the helm cuz i have way too much that i want to say.
and mostly i am stunned at our following, of the people who truly enjoy sharing this odd life at saints. and how everyone forgives me for all of the stupid and silly and ridiculous things i sometimes write. you bear with me when i am whining, you try to understand when i have gone nutz, you are supportive when i am bitchy or freaking out and you send hugs when i am in pain.
so while i worry about money, i know deep down in my heart that the money will get here this christmas because there are people who care about the saints as much as i do and god or whoever looks after this place has determined, that yes we will go on to accomplish more for awhile.
but i just want to let whoever is in charge of us know...that i am getting tired of worrying and could they please just think about adjusting the timing a bit better, cuz if the gifts arrive before i start worrying, then i would not have to worry at all!
that would be nice.