Rescue Journal

i have been found guilty of swingers death

Carol  ·  Dec. 28, 2007

the jury has spoken except no jury was required..i acted as both the accused and the judge in this matter and i have already been sentenced..... a lifetime of reliving one minute of stupidity and sharing 8 hours of consequences and the loss of a life that i loved.

swinger is not mad at me, he knows there was no malicious intent to harm him, just a stupid mistake and his blood on my soul forever.

i will tell you this tho, i will carry this guilt born of tiredness and honest stupidity far more willingly then i would ever carry being some other things in this life.

the jury is dismissed.



thank you wendy for your kindness. he was a pretty amazing horse, he amazed me most every day, mostly more like "i cannot believe you just did that!" kind of amazing but amazing all the same. i miss gomer pyle dork.


Oh Carol; I doubt that the hen scratch was the cause of Swinger's just happened to occur when he was at his end. You did far more for that old fellow than anybody else would have! Sadly arthritus meds for horses are harmful to them long term and Swinger was lucky to go as far as he did(in my equine experience with meds)do not let the guilt eat at you!32 is an amazing age for a TB to reach!


There are a bazillion saftey rules, no gates left open, grain put away, beet pulp i never even buy for fear they may get into it with out being adequatley soaked, too much food, not enough food, no hay nets cause i am freaked about them too , wheel barrows locked up so legs don't get caught, no halters left on horses turned out, ropes put away the list goes on and on. Horses are so icredibly strong and so very fragile at the same time. I never put fly masks on my horse all summer cause my neighbor put up a bunch of skinny posts in and i worried about them rubbing on them and getting the masks udner them. What am i tryign to say.. even the most seasoned horsemen/women have had a horse get into feed by accident.. it is what it is an accident . But I will join you with the fact that I hate that we aren't perfect in all that we do..