Rescue Journal

thank goodness this year is almost finally finished, it has not been my most favoritest year

Carol  ·  Dec. 28, 2007

the thing about rescue is you can't sit around and feel sorry for yourself. you are more than welcome to feel sorry for yourself but you can't sit around while you are doing it. so you come home from work and you put the barn guys to bed and you feel like shit whenever you look into swingers empty stall. then you go and clean and feed the americats and bunnies and you grab a 50 pounder of food for the dogs and you feel like shit when you run into eva in the dark outside and she tells you how sorry she is about swinger and it is not your fault. and that is just the way that the rescue cookie crumbles, you pretty much always feel like shit, either physically or mentally or emotionally or spiritually, but some way.... so best to suck it up.

i will only be able to indulge myself with the visual reminder of swingers empty stall until tomorrow cuz then life goes on and ellie will have that space by nightfall and tunie will have ellie's room because tunie wants ellie's room. and that is the other thing about rescue, it is all about the animals and using whatever you have to give them whatever it is they need or want...even if it belonged to someone else that you really wish was still let's suck up that one right now too.

and the third thing about rescue is shit happens every day...some is deserved and some of it isn't and that is just the way it is. so there is no point in wishing that it was easier or cleaner or kinder or nicer or more forgiving or less of anything that it is what it is and it isn't going to change any until you finally just stop and do something else.

cody and jj went home tonight, and lokie left yesterday too. wandering zues's dad came to pick him up this afternoon and finally there are just the saints here tonight once again. i am glad, it has been too hard a week to look after everyone well, i need to get back on top of things here.

2007 has been a brutal year...from january, right thru the summer to this very end of the year. thirty deaths, broken bones, and the rescue community at war. we have had floods and draughts and snow and wind storms, falling trees, broken washers and furnaces and someone even stole all our mail.

don't ask me why i put up with this life, ask the animals, maybe they know, they are all way smarter than me.

here's to 2008, it will probably be more of the same. and that is the fourth thing about rescue; if you don't look too far back, and if you don't look too far ahead, maybe you won't realize what a shitty life it is...ignorance is bliss....i need to find blissful again.