when you share something like saints, the lines disappear. there ceases to be me and mine and the very best parts become all of ours.
mr. softie died today. the girls noticed that he was having trouble breathing and when i checked, his nostrils were completely blocked. i cleaned them out and his breathing got easier but he was feverish and weak and i saw the tumour in there blocking his breathing passage.. i barely got him to walk to the van and by the time we got to the vets, he had to be carried in by stretcher.
yesterday, tally was goofing around in the barn and baying at me on our several field runs. he just about knocked me over when i came home from town. he was his usual total and complete happy doorknob self and today he is dead.
the vet said the tumour probably invaded a blood vessel when it ruptured causing the sepsis. there was a very slim chance with intense hospitalization and iv antibiotics they could pull him thru the infection. but that still left the nasal tumour, and tally was just too old to open up his nasal cavity and subject him to chemo and radiation.
it is not just me who lost her mr. softie, there is not a single other person who knew him that didn't love him as much as i did. we all lost something huge that we will never have again, and oh my god, such an emptiness he leaves here.
rest in peace gentle man and thank you to everyone who made his life so filled with love.