nina has diarrhea, sparky has gone to sleep and my head was spinning and whirling and thinking until with another countless twist and turn...boom, i got it. wow....utterly and completely amazing. i am chuckling now cuz i am such a complete and total freaking fool (again)....gotta love those sleepless nights, they bring such clarity to confusion.
angst in rescue is like a rubics cube...frustrating to pull it all together correctly, quite satisfying when you finally figure it out, and then best to be tossed into a drawer and forgotten cuz it makes no difference to your life anyhow.
altho....as hard as you try, there are some things that you never really do forget.
but now i bet i can sleep so that's good.
my apologies to everyone for the venomous post below...i was way off base...i got it wrong in alot of ways..(but not totally) and i forgot something i should have known.
rescue sometimes is less than stellar, sometimes it actually is quite shameful too. it is part of the territory you have to learn to navigate. sometimes i think i royally suck at it, but then i am still standing so i can't be that bad at it...or at least that's what i tell myself so i don't give up and stop.