this is one of the hardest things i have to write
Carol · Sep. 20, 2008
because this will be one of the hardest things i ever have to do. we are going to be losing spritely soon. she is starting to lose her foot and hoof. the vets told us this would be the final outcome and are amazed that we have managed her so well for the past 2 and a half years, but we are not going to be able to fight against this very last thing and it makes me so utterly sad. when the vet was done with her, she laid down in the riding ring, had a big roll and then true to spritely's zest for life, she sprung up and exploded out the gate. how do you kill a perfectly fine horse who runs like the wind and owns the world? and we have to do it before her entire hoof falls off because she will be in unbearable agony if that happens.
i don't know how many of you read the blog back in that horrible december of 2006...when spritely was down and the vets were coming at 10 to euthanize. and all night and early morning i cried and i begged for her to please try to walk again...at 8 am on the day she would have died, spritely stood up and walked out of the barn and started a brand new day. that is when i started to believe in miracles again.
we have had our hard days sometimes since that day she didn't die. but spritely's heart is as big and strong as they get and she has continued to have her life, her way.
but miracles are not forever, and my head has always known this day will come. i am not any stronger today than i was in dec. 2006. i am sitting here crying because i don't want her foot to fall off. i want to see her coppery glint from my window every day, i want to yell at her to stop freaking running and quit pretending to bite carl's butt, and for chrissakes get into the RIGHT stall tonight and don't you dare steal gideon's apples along the way.
i want to stand at the fence and say to mo who is standing near and watching her too...my god, isn't she beautiful? and hear her wholeheartedly echo the same.
i want spritely sprocket spirit train running thru my fields and barging in my barn and trampling on my heart everyday.
ahh spritely, we will try to do this well for you.
the vet said maybe a month, maybe a couple of weeks, it all depends on how fast it continues pulling away. i am asking for volunteers to help us keep watch between 2 pm when renee heads off and 6 pm when i get home. i'd like her checked halfway thru until we settle on a date to help her pass away.
let me know when you are available. thx.
Sigh...we can send people to the moon but we are still stumped when it comes to horse and cow limbs. When I was younger it always shocked me that they would shoot horses who broke their legs...if it wasn't life threatening for humans why on earth was it life threatening to horses?!! But age brings reality and one realizes that such large animals simply can't get into wheelchairs and have their legs in casts for a few weeks like us. It's heartbreaking and I have such great respect for you, Carol, for juggling all those calculations in your head as to which course of action will be best for which animal. It's incredible the amount of thought and care that goes into each decision you make for the animals and I know you have Spritely's very best interests at heart and you will do whatever needs to be done.
But, secretly...I'm hoping for another miracle too.