star was a stray...no one knows where she came from or how she got into the shape she is in....except star and she is starting to tell her story.
star was bred to death...easy to see this by her teats that sag to her knees and her misshapen vulva that gave birth far too many times. star was kept on concrete, she has deep pressure sores on her hips and her thighs. star was not in recent history loved or cared for or else how would someone let her tumour grow out of control, allow her to lose so much weight (my guess is she weighs less than 34 pounds, i'll weigh her tomorrow and see) and when she got loose, no one came looking for her (one wonders if they knew enough to be terribly afraid to admit she belonged to them and risk charges of cruelty)....maybe someone once cared about her, a very long time ago....but intentionally or not...they sold or gave her away into the worst brutality of back yard breeding or puppy mill slavery.
i don't think she is as old as the vet seemed to think. he aged her at 10-12 which is very old for a PB boxer. i think star looks so ancient because life used up and took absolutely everything she had to possibly give. it is hard to look 5 or 6 when every single bone in your body sticks out like a walking skeleton and you have a grapefruit sized fungating and bleeding mammary tumour hanging from your belly.
i don't think the surgery cured star's highly advanced cancer, there are several other masses attached to the glands still there. i think star is still a dead dog walking.....eventually.
but here is what she told me tonight...she really likes me and is so happy to be here. she likes the good and plentiful food, she likes the soft and warm and dry beds, she likes how it feels so safe and loved inside our arms and she likes being cared for too.
and so saints does what saints does...gives comfort and value and love and anything, everything.... whatever they need. her surgery cost a mere $1100 to give her something that she never had before but can now forever believe.....she has always been a beautiful dog, she has always been precious and sweet......she has always been the very best of all very good dogs and the light of her has finally reached a place where all around her can see....a very lovely shining star, finally, happily herself and complete.
she is the gift in what we do....in her joy of being, she lights our way and keeps us going.
i will always, always completely and totally adore you.