Rescue Journal

this morning i was thinking...

Carol  ·  May 4, 2009

tony you dolt...i told you not to be running around like a freaking young fool, and look what you have done to have gone and thrown out your back. so i stuffed him full of muscle relaxants and tramadol and anti-inflammatories. by the time the vet came, i am thinking..ok, this is worse than i thought but maybe the remedies will work a miracle...cuz hope floats.....

i popped off an update email, told her about the mass...she said again, like she did at 4 pm that a spinal lesion was high on her list. ok, so i know what a spinal lesion is, but i don't want it to be that. i want it to be a meningitis or a ruptured disc that the homeopathy miraculously cures.

tony is a pain in the ass...he stalks me day and night continuously til mo gets mad at me for leaving him shrilling barking behind when i am busy. we joke somewhat seriously that i have to stay put and forget about any kind of work, just to keep tony happy so he doesn't bark non stop. if he can, he follows me until he is absolutely crippled and can barely walk makes me feel guilty.

i have been trying to stay put, it is a bit easier lately because i am still sick. but now maybe it is too late anyway, because i think this is it for tony, even his determination to be with me, is not going to win the day.

i don't want to say it mr stiffy, but you made me love you because you loved me so much. and i think it freaking sucks that you and your wrecked body played super crippled dog long enough to break my heart.

tony, don't do this...make a freaking homeopathic super dog miracle please.