sorry for the slow down on blogs (for a day)

i got 3 phone calls plus pam's comment wondering if i was ok.

well no i am not.

i am in worry mode..not worrying about some freaking pain in the ass animal who is currently doing something weird.

i am worrying about all of the crap around here...everywhere. like i have to drive the tractor around and just toss all of the stuff laying around into the trailer to get it all to one place to send to the dump. and i am worrying about the walls and windows that need washing..those brainless morons in the big dog room have painted their wet and enthusiastic noses on every single window in there. i am worrying about the shop which looks like a war zone, the med room which looks like someone's messy kitchen with boxes of recently ordered syringes hiding the counter surfaces. and junk that has once again collected everywhere like some kind of super mold.

i am worrying about my bedroom whose pile of personal laundry in the corner looks almost as bad as it did when i was a teenager.

screw the animals right now..this place is a mess...it is driving me insane.

of course there is a pattern to this...my holidays are coming up in 2 weeks. and what do i do before and during and after my holidays?...make endless to do lists...try to actually work thru the lists with many interesting and interferring bastardly distractions and then return to work with an uncompleted and expotentially growing list to haunt me for the rest of my life.

i want a team of those de-junking/organizing tv, do it all in a weekend freaks on speed for a couple of days.

the spectra project group is here tomorrow...i think i picked up all of the needed building and painting supplies. plus 2 new freaked out dogs are coming in today, there is the blind goat to worry about plus all the needy nerds already here.

AND tomorrow i am gone from 6 am til late afternoon..my daughter jenn is grad'ing from university (deans list, top 15% of the entire class, YAY jenn! way to go!!!!)

the weekend is toast..by the time we get all of the regular work ewho can do anything extra?...and only a couple of weeks more of my working elsewhere before i can start concentrating on here to get ready for THE OPEN HOUSE..it it THE OPEN HOUSE which is currently freaking me out.

it is a death sentence getting ready for and living thru...they are always great days but geez, they are a killer for you know who.

me.

i am freaking out right now and hence the creative writing juices don't flow so good when all i can see around me is a ton of work that i have to try to get to....AND I DON"T WANT TO!

i hate work...i just want to be lazy..i think lazy must feel really good.