tonight i am into blaming..tonight this is all god's fault!

i got home late...i checked the water tank...dry...grrrhh. emily is bawling for her bottle and the hay delivery is here. i run and fill up the kettle from a water jug, turn off the pump so it doesn't burn out, write out the hay cheque and then make em her bottles. mj and leanne came so leanne fed emily while i put the barn guys to bed and mj chased me around for a receiver general's cheque...with what we give to the goddamn receiver general each month...we could hire a whole other staff person...pisses me off. laura and lana came and helped finish off the bedtime thing and wrestle grammy for her meds cuz her leg is sore again.

i come back into the house and turn back on the pump...and still no freaking water...jeezus freaking christ did we burn out the freaking thing already again?????

i am seriously going to kill myself...i am so freaking tired of messing around with something so simple and totally necessary as water.

I WANT TO GO BACK TO LIVING IN THE GODDAMN CITY...SCREW THE WHOLE FARM AND SANCTUARY THING!!!!

i just want to turn on the freaking tap and have water come out. i just want to take a bath at night without guilting myself out. i want a normal life which to me right now means having water running into my sink.

is that too much to freaking ask???

jeezus god, why the hell did you not send me to a sanctuary property with city water? how hard would that have been? you droppped the ball big guy and you dropped it right on top of the animals and me. so maybe you can go magically make some big donation come in to pay for fixing the freaking pump again...and while you are at it, you might as well make it rain...if you'd just keep the well full..none of this would be an issue.

ok...we have water again...apparently someone heard the hysteria building and decided it was safer to just turn the water back on.

i am going to bed.