rosie is home...

she is quite badly traumatized. poor rose.

all of these blind and one eyed animals running around here....it looks like we are some kind of weird eye ball sucking animal rescue cult.

i have been wanting to talk about Czar but haven't had time, now since i have a few minutes left on my break..here we go..the opportunity arrived!

part of the reason i was so pissed off last week was because of my level of frustration with people who do not think even remotely like i do. czar came with some human emotional attachments that was seriously close to getting me to blow a gasket.

i am the first one to admit, that on a scale of one to ten..i know next to nothing concrete about horses. but what i do know a lot about is the emotional depth and complexity of ALL animals.

so despite what i am told about how attached czar is to whoever, and despite that i know and accept deep in my heart that czar, given a choice, is NOT going to deeply attach to me..he is going to attach to the other horses and i think that is how it should be.

but...here is the thing. every single time a horse is bought and sold or given away, sent to auction or to slaughter house...every time it is rescued and bounced from point A to B to C there is going to be something that anyone with half a brain (horse savy or not) can anticipate...that horse is going to be afraid.

they do not know what is happening, they do not know why it is happening, they don't know where they are going or if it will be good or bad. they may be leaving friends behind them (human or animal) and they are leaving a certain security in already knowing what to expect from where they are now.

so if anyone ever tells you that horses do fine with change...they do not. it is scary and frightening and disrespectful to dismiss their emotional very real uncertainty and probable loss and pain.

so here is how czar managed his world turning upside down again (how many times in your very long lifetime sweet czar?)
he came out of the trailer dripping with sweat, he wasn't hot...he was terrified.
he wandered around trying to process who exactly was living in this new world of his.
then he had to decipher who was kind, who was nice, who might be dangerous or best avoided at all costs.
next he had to try to trust the perceptions he has been trying to form and this he does slowly and hesitently, just in case he was wrong.
behind it all as he tries to find his place in this new world, he must be wondering...how long is this place for? when will i have to move again?

yesterday cathy came out to groom him. she said gideon and sparkles kept coming over to check on and reassure him. i would think that gideon and sparkles know exactly how czar feels because they too have had their worlds turned upside down many times over many years.
lahanie knows too, but lahanie doesn't care...he is just revelling in the fact that finally after being low horse on the totem pole from where he came. he is now top gun and czar better know this..anyone elses problems cannot possibly distract him from this, his need to be boss.

these horses when they arrive here are promised 2 things...i will not manipulate and force them to love me... i think they deserve a break from that if they so choose...i am sure they have loved and lost enough AND they will never, ever again be sent away from their herd. they stay here til their lives end.

so maybe i know diddly squat about horses but the two things i do know will allow them to live out their lives, the way that they would like to...not burdened by my human wants and needs and safe forever with their friends.