a few things out of the way before we continue the bonded stuff
Carol · Jan. 27, 2010
our two strays were reclaimed by their family today..i not sure if this is good or bad news but the girls will remain together, they are mother and daughter dogs.
max really is unwell, cardiac or kidneys..one or the other is probably toast. in august his heart disease was 5/5, even with treatment, so it could be either one. eventually all of the other organs fail with the failing heart (end stage cardiac disease can lead to a multi-systems failure).
i am yet again bumping murph out of his appointment tomorrow to take max in instead (i am on afternoon shifts so i can only do one vet apointment a day)..i have rebooked murph and little big bud on monday..lets hope i can finally get him in there.
the pound has another lab with a giant tumour for us...she was a frequent flyer, like... multi-digit impoundments...this time her family paid her fine and walked out without her....sigh..i will look at her early next week.
remember zues..the dobie we sponsored but didn't come here? he went off to his adoptive home today..fingers crossed that all goes well for him and he doesn't eat any more pot scubbers!
so.... more to say on the strongly bonded.
firstly let me define strongly.....have you ever had a "heart dog?"...do you remember what that relationship meant to you?..how you felt about that dog and what amazing light and warmth, he or she brought into your life?
how would you feel if someone came in and pulled you apart "for your own good"..so you would focus more on your friends or more on your job or more on your family who maybe wasn't quite as important to you?
if we accept that animals are emotional creatures, capable of unique and special and deep and lasting relationships with us...why do we devalue the life long and special relationships that they SOMETIMES develop with each other as less important, less treasured by them than what they would form with a human?
true love is a gift...are we saying that animals cannot feel abiding love for each other, that they can only feel it with us? or do we really think that they don't really feel true love but we are too afraid to actually say this?
it makes no sense to me that an emotional creature cannot feel emotions...like love or anger or hate or fear or happiness. so if i believe they do feel emotions, like love..who am i to say who they can love and who they should not because it doesn't happen to be convenient.
i have absolutely no doubt in my mind that buddy and sissy not only loved, but needed each other. i have absolutely no doubt in my mind that chica and suzie deeply love and need each other.
i have no doubt in my mind that jesse and lucas and also reggie and 4lane absolutely HATE the other...they despise the other to all exclusion of anyone else in the world.
do you know that the fruitloop trio who once were totally feral...now only one is still true feral and that is sunny. and sunny only comes to me for loving when tango and mango are having a love fest with me. he cannot resist their loving feelings..it is a magnet to him. the only reason i can ever touch him is because the other two bring him to me. and this doesn't always work either...dixie is feral and she doesn't give a shit who is loving me..she thinks i am a monster and she doesn't care if the ones that she loves, actually love me too.
i had ogidie for almost a year before he ever came to me. and he did not come to me because he wanted me...he came to me because he was driven to be near the orphan kittens i was feeding. his absolute complusive need for them created a lasting friendship bridge between him and me.
squirt learned to love me from watching the other dogs. all of the fearful ones learn that i am their friend because the other dogs all want me so much. they don't intially trust me....they trust them..so if everyone else likes me..what the heck, it must be safe to like me too and soon i am their also trusted friend. even andy now comes with everyone else to put his feet up on me to say hello. it has taken 5 years to get that dog to acknowledge me when i am not holding food.
so two things come to mind here...first a sketchy animal's trust in an animal who happens to love humans can easily be used as a tool to foster a healthy relationship with that sketchy animal if you have the time and patience to do this. (and the understanding that there is no crystal ball to see how far any relationship will go)
and secondly...we will never as a society truly respect the animals that we vow to protect UNLESS we acknowledge that sometimes their relationships with each other are as heartfelt and lasting and true as the relationships that they can and do sometimes forge with us.
i believe animals who live in emotional want, in emotional pain, in a vacuum of a loveless world will form a deep love and need for a kindred spirit animal who shares that barren life with them (ie buddy and sissy.) i believe animals who have spent their entire lives together in friendship and trust can consider another animal, their true life partner and care for them as much as us (ie chica and suzie.) i believe that animals who have never met before can develop and grow a love story that lasts the rest of their lives. and yes they can, when one life ends, love another as much (scrappy and lotus, ogidie and dixie, dixie and now sunny, percy and jeanette, percy and spot, percy and joy....maybe sissy one day with someone else.) and i do believe they remember that lost love forever...and thank god death stole it away from them and not me.
and i also believe that once you really and truly love...loving others comes more naturally and it never takes love away for another..love grows not shrinks.
i just want folks to think of the possibilities of the depth of emotions the animals can invest in the ones that they choose....not all of them find that true and forever love...but some of them do.
for the ones that found it...do we have a right for any reason to arbitrarily take it away?
i don't think that we do.
i think we should support it, protect it, to treasure it as something special and help them to keep very safe.
(and i will over the next few weeks post MANY heartfelt pleas on saving my hair because my hair is almost as important to me (but not quite) as their happiness!)