a day that i have time to think..where i can smell the coffee (or in my case the animals) and look, evaluate and/or plan for the realities of senior animal rescue around me.
i have about 45 minutes left before i head for work..i am already dressed appropriately, am satisified with my morning and am enjoying cold bottle of water while i type.
my van is full of this weeks 1000 pounds of feed and supplies. i got it this morning and it is all ready to unload first thing tomorrow. this means i will not trying to be squeezing in the feed run at 8 am before the barn guys get set loose between me and the feed shed for the day. i filled all of the feed bins so the freezers are empty which means i get to unload straight into the freezers for this weeks storage instead of filling bins at the same time.
my brutal alter ego side has been dealing with both rats and flies for the past week or so and i am happy to report that my efforts have been worth while..once again the rat and fly populations are under control. i had a good look at gideon this morning and he is looking far, far better than he has for almost a year. he has all of his weight back on, he is no longer frail and weak..he is looking pretty darn good and out and out perky for a 35 year old guy.
gideon is a perfect example of where i need to learn to not only trust myself more...but be willing to stand my ground and INSIST on people following EXACTLY and to the T... what i know is right and working for him. i waffle sometimes because i m afraid of being thought of as controlling and obstinate. but i came so close to euthanizing him this last time around and it would have been so horrible if i had lost him due to my own confidence inadequacies. no one..absolutely no one knows that horse better then me..altho...mo is a very close second right behind me.
i need to develop a stronger belief in my own confidence in not only my abilities to care for senior horses really well but quit listening to the background noise about others doing it better.
i am the first to say that my general equine...cow...sheep...goat...llama...chicken...pig....bunny...donkey knowledge is not as extensive and well developed as my knowledge of humans, cats and dogs...but my knowledge of aging, and medical issues and how they affect ANY physical body is far more extensive then i give myself credit for.
i suddenly understand that my real expertise lies not in overall species specific knowledge..like species specific behavior, training, nutrition, temperament, instincts..whatever..but my knowledge base is an actual gold mine in the areas of sick and elder care in almost every domestic species.
i think watching that movie on temple grandin last night affected me more than i thought....sometimes it is not just enough to KNOW what is right...sometimes we have to take the even bigger step and believe enough to STAND BY what we know is right.
i am so glad i had a second chance with gideon to figure this out..to learn to be stronger and firmer and more resolutely confident in caring for him.
it is a gorgous day out there today..gideon is really enjoying this beautiful day..he feels well...he feels happy...he feels he deserved the extra 2 apples i slipped him while filling the feed bins today.
all is well in my world...it may not last..but i am grateful to feel the peace and comfort of gideon..the classy chicks, of ziggy, of chewie and edith....of perdy...of miranda (who is doing so very much better) of little mr and pixie and of all of the senior or sick others in my care today.... before i head off to work.
i may know diddly squat about chickens in general ..but i can help sick frankenstein chickens become beautiful birds.
Well said, Lory.