i read those things like the article below and i sometimes think...but for the grace of god, there go i.
i can so easily see how it happens...so insideous at first....one too many...two too many...ten to many...one hundred too many...and poof...the animals are all totally screwed.
but it is not just by the grace of god that i or anyone else not there go..it is also an act of personal will.
and we all have to understand that rescue is a balancing act and it doesn't always stay in a perfect balance.
easier to balance in a small way with just one or two being helped at a time but when you get into the bigger numbers..the balancing act gets harder all of the time.
take a personality like mine which will try to take on right to the limit of the heaviest load i can handle and man that tipe rope just gets higher and higher and the fall below gets further and further.
and i am deathly afraid of heights.
i wonder what it is like to not be afraid, to not dig down deep and carry one more soul to the higher ground while dreading and fearing every step of the way.
the hay is being delivered tomorrow, it is orchard grass...it is $13.50 a bale...i could buy local at $7.00 a bale...shit i could buy round bale silage for dirt cheap but these guys won't like it so i won't buy it for them. i want them to enjoy what they eat. i picked up today 6 cases of canned dog food...that was 124 cans at a cost of $274.00..it is barely a weeks worth for them. and they won't starve without it either..the shop is full of donated dry food. but they like a bit of it every day...so i buy it..it makes them happy...300 bucks to make 30 dogs happy for a week seems like a good thing to me.
i don't like to ask people for money..it makes me feel like icky..but i think if the animals were going to go hungry around here...i would be down on my knees and begging for them.
so i can't quite see how those animals were left to starve with such shitty hay that they would not eat. and i can't understand letting their hooves grow so long that they could no longer even stand on their own four feet. i can't understand a horse left with a broken hip, circling and unable to move in a straight line. i can't understand letting baby llamas be born and then just standing around and watching them die.
this is not just a simple matter of getting in over your head..this is an utter lack of caring and respect for the lives of the animals you pledged to protect.
or did they actually ever even pledge that? did they in fact take those animals in so they could get something out of it for themselves? power? respect? angel wings or halo's..money?...was it money behind the fairy tale good deeds?
this is my pledge to the animals here....saints will always be open in every single nook and every single cranny so we can NEVER hide the animals here behind some lying fantasy wall. and i will do my best to protect them from the power, the dream, the fantasy seekers...they are REAL and they have a right to be seen as they are.
i do not think any sanctuary or shelter can ever be perfect...how can you provide perfection in an imperfect world?
but it can be reasonable, it can be rational, it can be ethical, it can be respectful, responsible and compassionate, it can be real, it can even be imperfect...but it should never be a horrible lie.
i have litle patience for the know-it-all, do-little finger pointers who do not understand how difficult balancing quality of life in an animal shelter or sanctuary can be.....but better to let those ones snoop around your corners i suppose then risk the other by hiding behind closed doors... i have complete contempt for the ones who said they do want to do this but never had that act of will to find and hold that balance required no matter how difficult or painful it became.
here is the blunt truth in rescue...if you start fucking up then you better start bucking up and fix it asap...the animals are counting on you and you better be worthy.
if you are not.... then stay out of their lives. they have had more than enough misery..they don't need more in the name of good intentions but no brains or guts rescue....they would do far better all on their own.
i think rescue victims are the very saddest of all victims i know.