Rescue Journal

9 deaths in 6 weeks is brutal on everyone.

Carol  ·  Jul. 3, 2011

you start waiting for the next shoe to drop.

mo has a theory on why we sometimes run into these periods when death becomes a frequent visitor....she thinks when they pass away a door opens to somewhere and the ones close to the end feel the pull towards that open door.

maybe..or maybe it is just coincidence...with so many sick and elderly animals living here, maybe some of their lives just run out close together...their lives will not go on forever..maybe they just end in bunches because their time was just over.

i like mo's theory tho...if there is a door, then it has to go somewhere..right? so maybe our guys are somewhere pretty special..that place of freedom and warm, pure, spiritual light.

it wouldn't surprize me if there was something really interesting behind that door that draws the animals to it in groups. last night i had to shut everyone in really early cuz they were all being doornobs and reacting together to every freaking thing in the world. not only do my neighbors appreciate quiet evenings, but i do too so i got mad at them all and just shut them all in. freak out is over...let the group nap time begin.

i can control that kind of group activity by shutting my doors...but that other door is not something that i have any control opens and closes as it determines....i have no say.

i watched "the black swan" last night, i have had it for a while but was not ready to watch it til last night.i found it interesting because it was so clearly about how the lead dancer perceived her she saw her reality.
is that not how we all really are? we perceive our worlds, our ways? if we are positive thinkers we perceive the world positively, negative thinkers see a negative world..throw in a mental illness and the vision becomes even more blurred and unsure..our minds have so much power over every day.

i think that is something that i have learned from rescue..that it is the perception of one's life that determines how happy it can be. and i think animals are easier to convince to be happy than humans are...their wants and needs are simpler.

cash.. the little de-clawed cat that was attacked by a dog over in the school yard last doing really well. what a sweet girl... she is a roller and a tummy rub lover. she wants to feel safe, loved and happy. the swelling on her neck is slowly going down and she is finally eating a bit on her own. now there is a spirit with strength in, lost out in the unfamilar world, beaten and injured by a big dog, in the clinic on iv's and in pain, finally moved into a saints medical room pen...and one week later she purrs and rolls and rubs her head in our hands....she just has to be a positive thinking cat.

i have said it before and i will say it again....we are responsible for how we shape the world around us. i think the black swan, had no choices...her mental illness took over. but the rest of us do have choices we make every be happy or sad, to be cheerful or angry, to be helpful or obstructive, seek out and promote goodness or wallow alone in blaming and dark.

i have all of those days here...lately, with all of the recent deaths...more than enough of the sadness. and in some ways i am a victim of others emotional being...if the animals or the people around me are filters out to me. but...i am responsible for the world i shape around me. and i want saints to be filled with positive energy so i learn to let it work it have my occasional meltdown and freak out so that at the end of the day (or the week!)...i can again perceive the world around me the way i want it to be....full of wonderful elderly and sometimes sick animals who are enjoying living...and full of amazingly generous and kind hearted people who on the whole...(except for the bad days...phoebe!)...actually think positively like me.

hmmm..ok...i think that was a weird post....sorry...but it was a weird and thought provoking movie!


Carol Ann

I have noticed that the believers are more likely to be animal lovers. We are special people and I think very lucky people to have this love in our hearts.


"i am responsible for the world i shape around me." Very timely message for me. Thanks.


same with me, people think i am nuts but i too have had dreams about my very special dog who passed 5 years ago from acute kidney disease. he came to me several times in a dream and the last time he said he was coming to say goodbye, he could not stay because they told him he was better off where he was. i have had feelings of him nudging the back of my leg when i was at the dishwasher as he always liked to try to get into the dishwasher to lick out what he could. i have been in that state of not being awake but not being asleep and heard him bark. he has come to me a lot of times to say goodbye and i have finally let him go. and it is not only animals, i have had the same dreams of my sister who died in dec. i never got to say goodbye to her and i dreamed she came down my hallway in her hospital gown went into the bathroom and i followed her in and gave her a kiss told her how much i loved her and said goodbye. i felt so much at peace after. i do believe that the ones we love are waiting for us. it is a warm and happy feeling and i am waiting for the day when i can one day hold all the people i loved in my arms again.

Carol Ann

Some people think we are a little crazy or weird but I believe also. I have had dreams of a lost loved one and she kept telling me it was ok, be ok too. It helped and yes our animals are waiting for us too. I have to believe all of this to keep on going.


I'll bet that right now there are a few babies being shepherded in your direction by the Great Spirit!


I think I told you when you lost Lehani about the old Sioux legend which says when someone you love or with whom you are close dies, it is because another is coming.


I always wondered about the **death runs** as well.....we seem to go through periods when we have 6 or 7 in a matter of a week as well.
I always figured that maybe it was because we have alot of sick, oldies & crusties and thought it was always too coincidental but I like Mo's theory.
Definitely something to think about.

Bunny Horne

Carol, please don't think me suffering mental illness, but MO IS RIGHT. There is a door. I know, because I've been there. I had a kitty - JuneBug - I rescued him at just 4 weeks old from being attached to an exhaust pipe in front of some kids (I'm serious). He was always a sickly cat and exceptionally needy. Years, later he returned the favour and rescued me from one of the worst times in my life. He lived to be 19 years old and he passed on in my arms. I grieved the loss of my JuneBug more than any other loss in my life. I couldn't function, I was paralyzed. He came to me one night in my sleep and took me through a door (yes, MO, through a door). He was healthy and strong and HAPPY and it was beautiful beyond description. He escorted me back to the door, but only I passed through. When I turned to look at him I knew that JuneBug would be there waiting for me when it was my time. I woke almost immediately and at last I felt at peace. I knew my baby kitty was safe and happy and healthy and I could get on with my life. Immediately I took on my next rescue kitty and then my next.
There IS A DOOR and all our beloved pets are there playing and living their life to the fullest until we meet again. And Carol, Dear Carol, (and MO, KO, Lynn, Helga, Jenn, Brenda and all the other volunteers past, present and future) what a greeting each of you will get when you meet again.


I am a total believer in how our mental attitude shapes our private world.
We can wallow in self-pity or shake our heads and rid ourselves of the slings and arrows and, more important, negative self-talk.
We can learn from how animals deal with life and choose to face each day so positively, even in the face of pain both physical and emotional. We could do much worse than follow their example.