sometimes i wonder if i am a hypocrite...
Carol · Oct. 8, 2011
cuz here is the thing...when i am sitting on my side of the fence..i see things on my side of the fence. and i don't necessarily care about someone else's side of the fence as long as it is not sliding over and messing up my side.
when new animals come in here, if they are owner surrenders..i make people break off all contact from that point on. i don't think it is the least bit fair to the animal to be slipping in and out of their lives and messing their heads and hearts up. from my side of the rescue fence, it is pretty damn simple....if someone wants to still be part of their life, then they shouldn't be giving them away in the first place and they sure as hell shouldn't be here.
sooooo..i just spoke to rick and flicka will be here tomorrow around 12;30 and then he will take dixie back to his place for boarding and training. and i fully intend to follow them back so dixie knows that i know where she is and it is ok. AND i will make a point of visiting her frequently in the beginning while she settles in and makes herself at home so she doesn't feel abandoned.
now dixie is still our horse and will for now anyway remain our horse..i have no plans for this to change. if eventually someone great wanted to adopt her?...well i will cross that bridge if or when we come to it. but for now, her living location will change, but not who her family is.
but..i do have to wonder...besides the whole ownership issue..what the difference is between my feeling the need to stay involved in her life and my refusal to let others do the same.
i think it is because i am not abandoning dixie to the fickle fingers of fate..i am just sending her off to get some experience in a different part of a horse's life, then just being used and abused on a race track and then suddenly finding oneself retired in a field full of ancient horses. she got the hard beginning and easy end of work and play life but not so much the vibrant and i hope to be.... her youthful fun middle.
anyway whatever side of the fence people sit on..tomorrow i am going to be feeling what a lot of owner surrenders do feel..that my beloved dixie won't know why she is being taken away to a different home and i know, just like all of the animals who come here...for the first few days she is going to feel unsure and afraid.
sigh..i can feel those god damn floodgates squeaking open..and i freaking well know....tomorrow my tears are going to flow. i am messing with her life..i am messing with her herd..i am not so sure i have a right to do this.
i wish i knew how to give an active and fun life to a young horse but i just don't. i only know how to give a soft and gentle life to the frail and elderly.
please let this be the right thing to do for dixie..i think it is..but i just am not sure.