three loads left to wash...four loads left to dry..one load is not cooperating and drying very fast.... i think my midnight estimate was off by a couple of more hours.

oh well...i am just hanging around, doing laundry and peacefully being in the moment with minnie pearl.

minnie pearl is doing ok...she is comfortable, she is relaxed, she feels safe and is not in any pain. but i do believe tonight will be the last night of her life, i think the vet will tell me tomorrow that minnie pearl has lived the best that she could, for as long as she could and it has now all come to an end.

minnie is all of the very best things that i love best about dogs...fiesty, funny, determined to fully live every moment of every day. so ok..she was also at times a royal pain in the ass...but she has lost that pain in the assedness and that more than anything makes me sad.

minnie pearl epitomizes for me the whole of truly loving a dog. you can't just love part of them...you can't pick and chose certain pieces to make them be just the parts you happen to like best. if you love, then you love the whole of them or else you really did not love them very much at all.

i think that's why minnie loves me back so much..we both love the imperfections in each other. she totally accepts me as i am and i totally embrace all that she is.....together...we equal family.

i did not realize that they thought of me as i thought of them until little big bud died. when he looked right into me at the moment of his death...i knew to that little dog, i was his trusted family.
it comes from living with and loving them every day for the rest of their lives..it is an incredible gift that they give.

tonight i am making sure that minnie pearl has what she needs. i help her to move to be closer to me. i reposition her so she stays comfortable and i bring her water so she doesn't feel thirst and i give her pain meds so she can easily rest. that is what the nurse in me does. and whenever i pass her, i touch her face, i tell her i love her and everything is ok because that is what someone who loves her shares.

tomorrow i will be sad if i do end up losing her..but tonight i am just glad to have her as part of my life...she is a wonderful full of life dog who has given me her trust and her unlimited love.
that is pretty damn special.