Rescue Journal

just a couple of updating things..

Carol  ·  Dec. 19, 2011

edith is much better tonight. the vets were back out, gve her more calcium, antibiotics and pain meds. janice was able to get her to enthusiastically eat some oatmeal cookies so i will buy her some more tomorrow.

bear's infected incision looks a bit better with the warm compresses plus the vet changed his antibiotics today too. hopefully in a couple of more days he should be good again.

there are a couple of pretty freaking sad dogs who i will be holding a spot open for. not sure if either one will actually make it here but if they do, we will for sure find them some room. but i have told everyone again that except for these final two, that for a while at least we are again closed and full.

laura got to meet odie tonight (aka kody but frankly we have had too many kody's and it will cause confusion on the vet records to have any more.) anyway..odie is good. he has a vet check on thursday.

tonight my big worry is dixie chick..she has stopped eating and i can't get the meds she desperately needs into her. i have her alone in the hallway with varous med filled easy and tasty to eat and drink things. she did take a bit of the milk but not enough to do her any good. she feels like shit and she is squeaking at me to tell me so but she is too feral and not weak enough yet to get my hands on. by the time i can get her and force the meds into will be too late and i will have to let her go. i have known from the beginning since takng in this cat and telling her she was part of my family so many years ago...that the day would come when she became sick with something or other and i would not be able to help her.

i fully accept that i will touch dixie twice in her life time...once when i grabbed the five month old feral kitten and was bitten to the bone to shove her in a crate at the shelter to take to my home..and the next time i will probably ever touch her, will be on the day that she dies.

dixie chick has occasionally let someone else touch her..very, very for brief second ( or at least that is what folks have told me..i have never seen it myself.)...but dix has never let me touch..(i am not counting the day i was pushing her back from the food bowl that contained meds for a different cat..that had nothing to do with liking me..that had to do with wanting the food more than she actually loathed me.)

but you don't have to touch someone to love them..and they don't even have to love you back. love freely given is given and you don't need to get any love back.

anyway..tonight i am so afraid she will die on me and i will not end our 11 year love ( on my part) and hate (on hers) relationship with proving to her that she was right to view me as her enemy. and if she dies..i will forever carry the guilt that i let her die without fighting with her to live.

please dix..just try to finish drinking the milk.

a further update on dix..

i had sort of hoped that she was just coming down with URI like sunny (not that i want her to be sick but at least i would know how to treat her for this as long as i can get her to eat.) but i think i am wrong on this.

she did drink some tuna juice tonight and a bit of the milk. and she did let me hang out with her on the floor as long as i did not try to get any closer than a couple of feet from her.

i have shut all of the other cats into the two back cat rooms and dixie has the hall and the open bathroom so if she decides she wants to eat or drink it is right there undisturbed for her. she hung out with me while i had a bath..i can see that she has lost a lot of weight lately and when she opens her mouth to weakly meow at me..i can see thaat her tongue and gums and roof of her mouth are clear. because she is letting me pretty close to her i can also see that her eyes are sunken and her mouth and whiskers are wet. i am pretty sure she is uncomfortable by the way that she talks to is a quiet but still audible distress that she feels.

she is currently curled up and sleeping in the corner of the bathroom on top of my laundry is soft and warm and she looks relaxed right now.... but a few minutes before she vomitted some very green and unhealthy bile. i think she is nauseated given the drool around her mouth and i think given the color of that bile that something terribly wrong is going on inside her....i wonder if it is her pancreatis....pancreatitis? pancreatic cancer? she is not jaundiced so i don't think it is her liver..but hard to tell with the lighting might be..except i know she was still eating canned food.... right up until yesterday cuz i made sure i fed her myself and i watched her eat the full bowl.

i am just grasping at straws here...i don't know what is going on with her..i just wish she wasn't so sick...i want back my normal sketchy and freak out dixie chick.