Rescue Journal

i am so sorry you guys to be such an indecisive freak..but it is not a false alarm.

Carol · Dec 30, 2011

it is the end of life roller coaster ride.

i left here after looking at pops on my break and i got a bad feeling...i gave him triple the dose of pain meds last night which would still have been on board..which meant i had no idea how much pain the drugs were masking. i called the vets back and asked them to still come out this afternoon and see what they think. brent is the one who originally rescued pops and brought him here and he is deeply emotionally invested in popeye's wellbeing.

anyway..it was brent who came late this afternoon when the big doses were finally wearing off. and he said it is popeye's time, he said it is not just the bad foot and leg anymore..the rest of him is feeling pain from his continual overcompensation of his crippled foot. he said the thought of putting him down where he was, when he never had a chance, had made him feel sick. he said putting him down now, when he had so much more good in his life, was ok.

i am to keep giving him high doses of drugs today...he had another triple dose and i will give him another double dose after 10 pm tonight and again at 6 am in the morning. the vet made the arrrangement with ccarsons to come and pick up pops body at 9am so brent will come here at 8 am tomorrow to help pops find a peaceful end. i want the other farm animals to have some time with pops before his body is taken away.

i am supposed to work at 7 am tomorrow but work has kindly rearranged my schedule and moved my appointments to 1030 so i can be here to see pops thru it all.

so the arrangements are made, a plan is in place, we have taken care of all of the ending of life details and now the heart break and sadness can come while i make sure his last night on earth is peaceful and comfortable.
love you pops.

Comments

Debra

So sorry to hear Popeyes is not well. He will be in a better place soon, and pain free. I volunteer in the MP bldg., but have met Pops twice. I felt so sad bout Frodo, as he was my greeter. Tomorrow is my first day back, and it will be hard without Frodo greeting me.

Brent is a friend of mine, and I trust he is doing the right thing, and Pops is in good hands.

Ann C

Hugs to you Carol and all the "barnies" tomorrow will be a very hard day for all of you,love to Pops.

Carol

i sent you an email lisa...so much love for pops in all of these posts.

lynne

also thanks so much to brent for realizing his plight. if not for you god knows what would have happened. it is not a happy picture. i agree with all of the above, it really is heartbreaking that we treat our animals the way we do. we can not rescue everyone but the ones we do are truly the lucky ones. i do not even like to .think of the ones that are forgotten. maybe one day.... we can only hope.

Renee

You are an amazing horse Pops, and we will carry you forever in our hearts. Goodbye sweet boy.

Lisa

If he would benefit from, or if you think he'd like it, I'd be willing to stay up and spend the night with him.
I have never met him (but have always wanted to) but he really gets to me.
Let me know....

ryan

God Why must you be so cruel. Pops you will be missed, sorry carol

carly

My heart is breaking! The times I got to spend with him while I volunteered,were special. Give Pops a kiss for us Carol! Let him know he will NOT be forgotten!

erin

even though im not a barn volunteer, i have been crying all damn day and im sorry we (as a collective; humans) didnt do better. but being sorry doesnt change one fucking thing.

Nancy

I'm so very sorry about Pops as well. I've been checking all day to get the latest on his condition. Now I'm crying again. My kids and I met Pops at your open house in June. We were drawn to him, he seemed such a gentle soul, and he had endured so much. You could tell though, that he was so well loved and looked after by the amazing people at Saints. It is his forever home there, he finally found love and caring and companionship.
I hope he is peaceful and free from pain tonight. I know he will be surrounded by love.
My thoughts will be with you all.

Penny

So much heartbreak recently at Saints and it just keeps coming. The outpouring of love for Pops has me in tears. He suffered so greatly but found love in the end - both from the people around him and the other animals. I'm sure he considered himself one lucky horse because of that. Pass on peacefully, Pops.

lynne

i am so sorry everyone and especially suzanne about pops. i am in the house most of the time and do not often get to see the barn guys but he must have been very special, there has been such love surrouding this little guy, may he rest in peace and contunue to have the love he had here. big hug to everyone.

Lisa K

I am so sorry to hear about Pops. When I visited SAINTS at the open house in June I was impressed with the level of kindness that SAINTS had to take him in given his bad hoof problems and how he managed to live so well after such a hard start at life. All of the people at SAINTS did a great thing for Pops and I'm sure he's thankful in his own horse way. I wish you all the best tomorrow.

Janice

He was so enjoying himself this morning , headng out in Pop's morning fashion with baby steps but grazing as he went, and then to the hay piles. He was laying in the sun and at one point he even gave himself a good neck scratch in the bark mulch... by afternoon he started heading closer to the barn and layed down again. He never regained his comfortible gait even after all those meds and not much longer after he wanted to go home. When he got inside he had a few bites of hay and left over breakfast and laid down. I replaced his dish with fresh at feed time and gave him 3 apples and a pear ..and a kiss on his soft nose.

Shelley

Wow. What a testament to how deeply Pops touched people, that someone would offer to try to keep him close, even after he is gone. How kind, Suzanne...

Carol

i am really sorry but we can't do that suzanne...it is against the law to bury them here and private cremation would cost several thousand dollars..and as much as i would like to do it for all of our farm guys, we just simply can't afford that kind of cost. it has killed me to watch spritely, and jeanette and all of the others taken away and it will kill me to watch pops and when gideons time comes, his too leaving here. but it is just their empty bodies, their spirits have already gone . our job is to love them and care for them in life and help them find a peaceful death..the rest doesn't really matter to them because they will have already left..it just is upsetting to us.

suzanne

I would be happy to contribute in a very big way for Pops to either be creamated and scattered at SAINTS or actually buried there because I cannot allow myself to think for one single second about what happens to Pops after Carsons takes him away and please don't anyone post that information here. For once I have a few "beans in my jeans" and maybe this is why they are there.
If you bury or scatter him at SAINTS he can still be with all the friends he finally got to have.

Carol Ann

This really hurts but I hate the thought of him in pain. He is the most gentle, sweetest horse. Go peacefully our big friend you WILL be missed.

Brent

Love you Pops. Thank you for being in my life.

Alison

Ugg the post I have been dreading for weeks. I will forever miss that gentle soul of an old man. Love you pops

Bunny Horne

Oh, POPS you have touched so many lives. We love you so. Have a peaceful evening with your barnyard buddies. We LOVE you. You will be missed. Rest in peace Sweet Sweet Popeye.

suzanne

my heart is broken.