so i can deal with riley's loss and all of the other animals alive and needing my full involvement around here.
percy's loss like some of the other previous losses, hits me in a more vulnerable place.
i don't know if it was just because we raised him from a baby to the giant he became...but i think it is more than that.
all of these animals move me in some way or another. but there are that few that knock me off my feet. bill, tyra, tally, cole, hook, frodo, cuddles, marilla, clyde, daphne, copper, julie, ogidie, daffy duck dog, mickey D, spritely, gideon, petunia, ellie, twosey, raven, mystic...and percy (there are more, but just to name a few..... so you get the idea...there are actually quite a lot..past and present. in this regard i have been truly blessed.
it isn't just a matter of the depths of love...it is somehow, some of these animals astound me.
i can't stop thinking about how many lives percy was responsible for changing. not just mine or the staff or volunteers, not just the visitors here, not just the blog readers from afar either....but emily's, joy's, todd's, spot's, jeanette's and even little ziggy's. directly because of percy....5 other cows and three goats were saved. when ziggy needed a family to fit into, percy was the first to offer himself as a friend.
over the past five years i have watched percy lick himself into countless hearts. i have watched him mourn the loss of his loved ones when their end of life came.
i shed tears as he chased and cried out against the truck that took his dead friends away. and today all i could think about was that his hated truck came for him today.
percy is one of the animals who taught me so much. that the value of life....loving, friendship, companionship, comfort and the pursuit of happiness is not unique just to us.
and i feel such a deep sense of loss that i can no longer look out my window and see our most beloved giant oaf. that i cannot walk out into the pasture and lay my head against the side of one of my most trusted friends. that i cannot take his face in my hands as his tongue wrapped itself around my arm and feel him try to take me all in.
i think he grew so big because he was so full of love...he loved all of us.
so many memories.....from the tiny babe with his bottle, to the young calf playing with his young pig friend, the tears steaming down his face when jeanette was taken away, licking and licking spritely's dead body, the warm smell of him as i buried my face into his neck. i see him drinking beer and coke, his utter obsession and fascination with any kind of mechanical vehicle. i see him when he was so terribly sick, recovering from his last surgery, i see him stealing hay out of the back of my van. and i see him tossing his giant head into the shavings and hog fuel piles...playful and having a blast....just last week.
and i see the people who loved him...touching him, brushing him, getting licked and swallowed by him and trying to outrun him with his feed bowl in hand.
and i can't stop thinking....what a terrible loss this world has suffered because one gentle giant and kind hearted magical steer has passed beyond us, never to be here again.