there is just nothing else to be done except to cry.
crying doesn't really mean anything..it is just another way to release some of the stuff choking me up inside.
it doesn't mean i am losing it or suddenly getting burnt out or falling weak to my knees.
it just means there is too many frustrating, worrisome, sad, or upsetting things currently boggling me.
do you know how i survive this totally fucked up life? i survive it because i accept that it sucks. old, sick animals are eventually going to die, my job is to make sure they are well cared for in life. the bat-shit crazies absolutely will never go away, they will continue to haunt me right to my grave. it really doesn't matter if i do or i don't because it will be wrong with someone, somewhere, no matter what and someone could or would do it better. there will always be fires to put out, crises to get thru, human relationships ruined. this IS the territory of rescue.
so i have my cry, then wipe away the tears and get right back at it...it is why i am here.
britney, max and halo are home from the vets. brit and max have new eye and ear meds..i will pick them up tomorrow.
halo is most likely palliative, she has a fist sized tumor in her lower belly, a quicky ultrasound showed her bladder looks not so great. they adjusted her antibiotics and want to repeat the ultrasound next week under sedation to have a better look. it doesn't look good for halo too far down the road...but..our job is to take care of her today.
senior rescue pretty much sucks but someone has to do it...and i made it me,.
what are a few tears if they get me thru another day?..they are nothing, just water on my face.