hmm..i was in the realm of deep thoughts yesterday.
it carried over to my sleeping..i had the oddest dreams.
this morning i was just happy to turn on the kitchen tap and have good water pressure to fill the kettle for tea.
maybe today will be filled with much more simple and innocent thoughts hopefully for me.
sooo..what is on my agenda for today?
oh. not so simple or innocent things.
first i have to unload the barn feed stuff i picked up yesterday.then i have to be in chilliwack before 10 am to pick up the crooked nose chi. back here before 1115 to take oliver in for his final vet visit..today, right or wrong... i will be ending his life..we just cannot get him back to feeling marginally decent again and he is not feeling well or happy. at noon i am meeting that 15 yr old dog and the young son whose mother has passed away and then i am meeting with a potential senior adopter to see if any of our senior dogs would be a good match for this home.
today i won't have time for deep thoughts or wondering about stuff. i won't have time to try to figure out the absolutely right answers about why life is so.today i will just be using my head, my heart and my gut and hopefully find the safest direction to go.
maybe there is an easier way..maybe there is a better path..maybe there actually is the RIGHT road out there. what sucks is on it or not..i won't really ever know.
sometimes i wish i could just stop thinking.
i read an interesting term today when investigating the meaning of "psychopomp". (anubis, hermes, etc).
you know how there are midwives, and how doulas are separate from them?
well, turns out, there IS such a thing as an end of life doula, and has been throughout the ages.
it made me think of you, mainly when it comes to the old and the sick animals when it's their time.
i don't think any attention is paid to the people who help people in this time, and it's a shame- they are an asset to how people live and end their lives. maybe it's just one of those unasked-for abilities in nursing. i think you could call it a skill, but perhaps one that many people wouldn't necessarily want or ask for.