Rescue Journal

sorry...i shouldn't be so pissy.

Carol  ·  Apr. 1, 2013

but so really has been a very tough year..erin counted them for me today...since january 1st 4 saints fosters and 14 saints residents have died...these are all animals that i cared deeply about..they are the reason i do rescue. my friend deanna died and left me an unconquerable mess, my own frightening family crises, staffing issues, animal issues with fletch and odie just about putting me over the edge and then out of the blue the "you ain't vegan" shot.

you know...this is a freaking really hard road. i can barely recall any easy days cuz lately the bad ones just seem to take over. sometimes i just want to shout out at the world...give me a freaking break. i am not freaking god or some kind of saint. i am just a ordinary person who has a helluvalot on my plate.

the expectations of others that you have to be all things to all people sometimes drives me insane.
for one else seems to have the same expectations of themselves...i don't see them out there busting their guts, putting every single thing they have on the line, giving every freaking human or animal who crosses their path at least the attempt of a chance. they just look down their nose and tally up my long list of inadequate woes.

and i am not out there looking for them...oh no...they come here to find me instead.

i could sit here and write shit about 101 people..i could list all kinds of other people's failings crap..i could build myself up by knocking others down and pretend i feel good and righteous about it.
but i don't and i won't.

i don't know the answers to everything..shit i don't know the answers to very much at all. but i know my problems belong to me and others people's problems do not. so why can't they figure the same thing out?

i am pretty damn sure they have their own "not so great, i could do better" issues to work on at home....if you want to pee on a parade, it is less offensive if you pee on one that you own.

anyway..i am being pissy here because i have to be nice to odie. my bad mood cannot hit the animals so it ends up hitting the blog.

good for for you...and for me it is a release to blow off some steam from this pressure cooker i live in.

i can stand the heat in the kitchen but i do think it is rude and unecessary to stroll over here just to burn me. for what? for rescuing hundreds of animals, for holding most of them when they die? how does that make me the bad guy???

(maybe now that i am getting it out my self pity will end....or maybe you are in for a long one..hope floats that it won't go on for too much more.)


Marisa's starting to sound kinda like a Vegan Roast on here. Please don't get out the boiling oil just yet!! Just as there are jerks who rescue and help animals there are also jerks who happen to be vegan. It doesn't mean ALL vegans are jerks. Most of us are fully aware of the convoluted ethics involving animals and our relationships with them and know that the issues are not clearcut. Anyone (vegan or otherwise) who thinks they have all the answers is seriously delusional and we all need to be willing to listen to each other's points of view. It's a shame this vegan person (and I haven't seen the comment) chose to deliver their opinion in a less than respectful manner 'cos heaven knows we need animal people to stick together rather than pull apart!!
One of the reasons I'm vegan is 'cos I don't just want to live and let live - I want to HELP let live. And I think SAINTS does too!! Thank goodness for places like SAINTS and people like Carol.


i love your comment, Ann. it's very true.

i really want to find the troll who said this and give them a piece of my mind. it wouldn't change anything, nor make Carol feel better, but it would make my selfish heart happy.
but i won;t, since i don't want Carol thinking i should troll people who make half-handed comments. in the internet, they ARE theirs to give, though they're wrong.

i am glad you have this blog, Carol. it's important, for me, to see the lengths you go through and your experiences. being vegan is a way of life, but so is being an animal advocate and rescuer. there, truly, is NO one like you in this world. and i love Jenny's portraits SO much, especially the birds.


Being a vegan can be an "opt out".
I don't eat animal products but wear leather and silk! Go figure.
You do what I would like to do but I ain't go the


Well maybe if that person came along with a few million dollars to offer, then they might feel they can dictate something about how SAINTS folks live (although they never mentioned the animals...) But what did they even mean by 'support' SAINTS anyway? click 'like' on an FB page? not much of an offer really.. You guys all do amazing work and i always wish i lived closer - I'd love to meet you all and see the place! And 18 animals since January is a huge loss! Take care of yourselves too...

wendy scott

I can't beleive the comments of some people. Carol I hold you and Saints and all the volunteers in my highest respect. You all do a very hard job and it is not easy to take senseless criticism. We can not please everyone. You should take great pride in all that you have done for Saints. Hugs to you .


That comment was akin to not supporting SAINTS because they don't shut down on Sundays for God and prayer. Vegan is a BELIEF. A very personal belief.

Something personal is your own, and as such, you don't force it on others with a healthy dollop of guilt and carrot dangling.

That post was shameful and designed to cause you grief.

Hang in there kid. :)


I personally think you are amazing...
Vegan, or not.
Your heart is too big and your skin is too thin.
Hugs and hopes for a better day.


i'm glad you're not vegan.

not only would you be starving, the animals would either die or eat you alive, rather than snapping you. OR... you would be forced to eat one of them if something happened and you went into psychosis. who'd be first? Phoebe? it might be best to find the one with the tastiest possibility. we frequently check our dogs for their plumpness and muscle, just in case.

i don't think i'd want to be faced with a starving Carol. i don't think any of the SAINTs would, either.