both nursing and rescue has been good for someone like me, a natural born lazy ass procrastinator. I am still inherently lazy and I do still procrastinate every chance that I can but there are things that I have to do at certain times no matter what so I make myself do them.
like....the animals have to be fed and settled to bed. I can just see what would happen on Saturday night if I decided NOT to feed and put the barn guys to bed....chaos. or..there is no way I am walking past the mp dogs and cats and Not giving them their supper either. as much as I get tired of cleaning out zsu zsu's pen..i simply cannot walk past her at any moment and not sweep out her mess. every night chloe parks herself in my plain view so I cannot put off feeding her group of cats their dinner too.
it is one thing to take 3 weeks to haul my ass down to the accountants to pay the bill..it is totally something else to actually ignore innocent eyes that are counting on you. in both nursing and rescue there are things every day that I absolutely, without question, negotiation or excuse, have to do.
it is good for someone like me to have these brick walls of have to, that cannot be moved.
I am pretty sure that once I finally do retire and the have to's are no longer there...that I will park my ass on the couch in my pj's and never move it again.
I think it is important to know thyself truly....what a waste of time and effort to have to continually come up with someone else to blame for the things that are actually going on inside my very own brain. I look at the past when folks occasionally blamed me for their own messed up lives and I remember thinking, are you kidding me? this is my fault when you made that choice?
I read once that procrastinators are tricky...they look super busy doing the things they like to do while totally ignoring the things they really should do.
that's me in a nutshell.
the only reason my income tax got filed on time (and I already got my refund!) was because ann grabbed and took all of the paperwork in to the accountants. if it was left just to me it would still be sitting on my to-do list..for someday.
I STILL have not switched the insurance so I can sell Deanna's car to help pay off her bills. by the time i get around to it, the car probably won't run anymore!
I am probably the only community nurse who does not get paid for my mileage..why? cuz I never keep track and submit the mileage sheets... I really don't give a crap about getting partially reimbursed for my gas...I will go see clients anyway.
so why am I telling you this...like any of you care?
it is because I want to be fair. we all have something incredibly stupid, annoying or not all that great about us.
so what? we all live in a leaky boat that could potentially be better. I learned this from the animals..how to look at people and animals honestly and not write them off completely. I am grateful for learning this because given my own little leaks, I don't have to write myself off either.
mo can call levi's penis, a "pee pee"..even tho it drives me insane....tammy brings her own floor washing bucket and marvin food bowl each day that she comes because...ok I don't know why...but she does and i think it is weird....lynne feeds every fat dog here like somehow they are starving when they are obviously not....but lynne is not letting any possibility of K9 starvation ever appear.
I actually get this..all of these people put up with my sometimes annoying, mind bending, pain in the butt things. we are learning from loving and caring for phoebe, odie, jesse and puff that all living creatures come with some pretty odd stuff.
it is what makes life interesting.
so..thats why i don't shoot everyone on site as soon as they get here..i have my own things that makes them want to cheerfully shoot me as soon as i and my own weird stuff also appear.
life at saints is give and take..we suck up the good stuff from each other and take a deep breath about the other things that drive us insane.