I look thru the cameras into Gideon's stall tonight, swept clean of all that he was. and I see the empty space before me.
but my heart is so full of love.
love for an old horse that taught me so much about strength, dignity, the conscious will to live a good and kind life, not a life dependent on taking away from someone but a life built of the faith in himself. a life that will stretch far past this day. a gift forever to be carried inside me.
and everywhere I turn there are other lives before me, odie yesterday feeling so bad and today playing with his new ball. phoebe content with a warm fleece around her, Fernando and daphne so warm and safe wrapped beside me underneath my covers. tess just happy that I stopped for a moment to love her, june leaning against my knee, cindy rubbing her head upon me while I folded another load of laundry.
let me tell you something about love and loss. they do not take love away from us when they leave. they have stretched our hearts, they have taught our minds, our very souls to feel, to see, and to give it back to someone, somewhere.
they plant love inside us to grow bigger and more far reaching then just a loss for you or me.
each death here, each animal who stole part of my heart, took it to nuture it bigger.
I am so full of Gideon tonight that the love of him is pouring out into roxie, and lance, and tang and mini me...to mystic, odie, my so deeply loved benny, to all of them here.
when they leave, they open that loving door so very wide and all we have to do is open our arms and spread our wings.
Gideon and all the others before him, have blessed me.
Of all your blogs Carol, this one will be a keeper. Your words say so much about life, love and loss. Thank you Carol and to your dedicated staff and volunteers for caring so deeply for the animals at Saints. It is so very evident by the recent tributes to Gideon how much people really care - namely, the beautiful poem written by Mo or Brent's comments about painting the wind vane horse White in Gideon's memory so that "he would always see it as he worked in the fields" are such touching and sincere words along with so many others who wrote.
Lenore