in between clients, I was thinking about him today. I was thinking what a tangled up web of convoluted circumstance became his actual death.
liam was born to die. he was born a male and was destined for the slaughter house before he reached 12 months of life. he ended up at the auction and was bought by a person who wasn't willing to invest very much in keeping him alive until that time. he was pretty much just left on his own to try to survive. his purpose was to fatten up on his own without much support so his price per pound would make his original purchase worthwhile.
when he grew too weak to rise anymore, he was left laying wet and cold out in the field for 2 full days until the spca was called. they seized him for critical distress and brought him here to give him a chance.
and he had a chance, it could have gone either way. we knew when he got here he might or might not make it and he didn't.
and I wonder about this sweet little sheep who fulfilled his pre-determined at birth destiny and died.
he certainly never had a good life, he was too sick when he got here to really feel that he had found a kind life, I had to keep poking him with needles to keep him comfortable and give him a chance...so if his life was still hard, even after his rescue...how could he ever have hope for a better life?
sheep are not like dogs..most dogs have at least experienced some distant memory of human kindness, even if it is only when they are cute in the first few weeks of life. but sheep? when do humans ever go out of their way to be kind to a commodity?
I think liam gave up on this world of hopelessness, I think his experience was, that life was just too hard. when brought to the very edge of it...why would he fight to hang on?
it looked to me like liam passed comfortably in his sleep, he was well positioned, his bed was dry and clean, he had his pain meds on board. he was in the very same position I propped and supported him in. I could see that he had a little more to drink because his once full water bowl was half empty. his little chin rested comfortably on his handful of hay and a few dandoline leaves. I believe, he closed his eyes and went to sleep peacefully.
I believe that when the end of life door opened, he slipped thru quietly and gently.
and I do not blame him at all.
I wish Liam could have found the same happy fairy tale beginning that we so wanted him to have. but I think liam chose the only path that at this point in his life, he could understand... a good death that was kinder and more gentle than life.
rest in peace liam, sweet little sheep.
I think I now understand why you decided not to fight for life.