pac did not stay over very long last night because as expected, Robbie was a bit of a dick and it stressed pac out. scratch while better behaved was getting stimulated by pac's toy playing too. looks like pac will have to stay as a daytime visitor when rob and scratch can be put out of my room. whatever, we can only do the best we can do and pac is used to sleeping on his own so I don't think he cares all that much to tell the truth. he was quite happy to go back to the office and all of his own stuff after awhile.
so many personalities, so many different needs. the trick to all of this is to realistically know the difference between what I want them to need and what they think that they need because pac does not need to sleep with me in order to be happy. what he does need is variety, interest, time spent with him, lots of chew proof toys, good care, lots of love, and a safe and comfortable place that he can happily call his own.
it is so easy to get caught up into that trap of projecting what we think inside our own heads into the head of other beings. sometimes it is hard to take a step back and look at things objectively without the addition of all of our own crap coloring the world around us to make it match what we are feeling. I struggle with this all the time. is it my truth? or your truth? or the real truth?...ahhh, it gets so confusing!
the fact of the matter is..pac has slept alone for his entire life...the office to him is perfectly natural and very nice plus it has lots of great toys! he doesn't feel a need to be a bed buddy..that was me wanting him to be a bed buddy and really? in the grand scheme of things?..i have bigger worry fish to fry.
luna is a problem and I think we can work thru it as soon as I can grab some extra time with her. teddy is an issue with not being well, and I really will not know for sure what is up with him until tomorrow. and roxy is not happy being back in my room, without kirk to terrorize she has again lost her mini T-rex bully power. she really does feel best when she is scaring the crap out of somebody way bigger than herself. I am wondering about moving her back to the computer room and moving kirk over to my room? he would probably fit in well there...hmmm..but can I accept his diarrhea accidents?
now that is an honest question that does belong in my head.
I sometimes wish I was the kind of person who just thought everything I was thinking was obviously right. sometimes I am spot on, sometimes I am really wrong, and sometimes I am half and half. I think the trick of it tho is to be aware of the fact that I am sadly not blessed with a super infallible genius head....knowing and accepting this keeps my head's doors and windows open to occasionally let in some fresh air.
nothing worse that a hot and stuffy brain trapped inside a tightly locked up head...airing it out helps it to breathe again.
maybe that is why I get so many headaches...I bet my head is locked down too tight at times...maybe I should work on that!