usually when he has a BM, he moves himself away, today he didn't. and he knew that i knew he needed cleaning. that started his bad mood and it was bad. deb muzzled him and held him while i cleaned him up, he was choked. anyway, he is happier tonight, half a pack of bologna has restored his equilibrium, and he apparently quite likes cat food so he is nibbling on a bowl of crunchies and is once again letting me step over top of him (he is blocking the hallway) and pet his head while i hold a bowl of water for him.
but the bottom line, he 's not going to get any better. i can fuss back and forth, and he can occasionally get up and walk a few steps here and there and make me question if i should give him some more time or not. the vet can't come before friday so his appointment is booked for then. and i think we will keep it for him too, because radar needs to be free.
i can't say that i love radar because i don't know who radar really is. but i can say that i am truly sorry it has come to this and he won't pass gently from a life he understood, life wasn't fair to radar, he lived too long and it all fell apart.