(Copper says he should get his own access to the blog to write new entries, but meanwhile he just helped himself to my computer - Jean.)
I was in a blue funk this morning. It may be nearly Christmas, but Jean seems to have forgotten that I'm her special SAINT and she hasn't taken me to the park for ever so long - the big park, where we get to run and run and run and I get to splash in the creek and sniff out the bunnies and tear down the trails.
So today when she came through the gate I didn't even bother to get out of my armchair. And I didn't bother to get out of the chair when I heard Jean and Carol take all the big dogs for a run in the meadow, 'cause I just knew Jean wasn't gonna go in the house for my friggin' daisy collar and besides she didn't make me a Christmassy one. So I sulked.
Jean noticed. I heard her mention it to Carol and Carol told her I'm depressed. And then it happened - I felt all the "guilt" neurons in Jean's brain click into place.
Soâ€¦.I got to go out for the day with Jean! At first I thought we were going to the park and was really excited, but that moron drove right past it. Then she went to a place with tons of stores and parked right near the one that sells timbitsâ€¦..and DIDN'T EVEN GET ME ANY! She wasn't gone long and came back with some good smelling stuff which SHE ALSO DIDN'T LET ME HAVE. But then we went for a long drive to some place called Abbotsford and made several more stops, including one where she came back with a fresh turkey AND WOULDN'T LET ME EAT THAT EITHER! I was getting kinda pissed - what kinda outing is this anyway?
And then it happened. GOLDEN ARCHES! I got to go to McDonalds! At first I refused to eat the French fries 'cuz I knew there was a hamburger in that bag somewhere and I wasn't gonna settle for no potato thing when there's meat in the bag. I am a carnivore, after all. So I practiced my Beguiling But Sadly Mistreated Beagle look until all the guilt neurons were firing and she pulled out the hamburger instead. Now that I ate! I only let her have one little bite. When that was finished, I let her share my fries.
I'm still pissed that I didn't get to go to the park, but now that I know how to push her buttons I think I can guilt her into taking me there in the next few days. She says I'm getting almost at good at guilt trips as her kid and her mom are. Not quite - she hasn't invited me for Christmas dinner at her place.
Oh, and Jean? Did you really think that two layers of gift wrap, a paper bag and a cloth bag would keep me from getting those cookies in the 45 seconds you were delivering a present to your friend?