i couldn't eat it all. we had a nice visit and my daughter liked her gift. we talked about alot of stuff (my son and ex are watching the american presidential candidates closely) my daughters talked about their jobs and both of them are back at school now too (lindsey working on her masters at night and jenn is still working on her bachelors degree)...jenn just got a second job at bc place and on her first shift a lady who had too much to drink bopped her in the head with a poster...hmm, not to happy someone is bopping my baby in the head when she is trying to work to help pay for school.
i told them about pete our new giant goat and they remembered wilbur and panda and bill and what great animals they were with me.
i almost ruined the very nice morning cuz i just had to cry once. they asked when i was going back to work in hospice and i told them i decided i just couldn't do that any more with this ankle. (it is hard enough working an 8 hour fulltime homecare job and keeping on my feet for the stuff around here but there is no way i can go back to picking up extra 12 hour shifts running up halls plus do everything else that i do.) i told them it made me sad because i missed hospice care. my ex said... well it is kind of sad work anyway and wanted to know why i missed it so much...so i told them a story.
i had a young mid 40's patient who was suddenly very sick and newly diagnosed. she had a young family like mine with new adults just starting out in their lives and their first big challenge was losing their mom and best friend. mom used to become really distressed with coughing spasms and the meds were not always really quick to give her relief. it distressed her family to see her struggling so and they were helpless to help her too. one night i showed the daughter an accupressure point to inhibit the cough reflex and taught her how to massage it to make the coughing go away. it worked. the daughter came to me on my next shift, she thanked me because that was the very first time she truly felt she could help her mom when she needed it most. and it is so very important for families to feel that they can contribute to their loved ones comfort and care. it takes away some of that helplessness and powerlessness that all of them feel so much.
and that is why i cried as i told that story because that is what i miss about hospice care, bedside nursing at it's most basic and finest....to me that is the real core of nursing, it is the nuturing, and teaching and the empowerment of others that is such a big part of what nurses do. at the hospice level, it becomes absolutely raw and real and critical and i will always miss that part of what i used to do.
my daughter just looked at my tears and said...ok, where did that come from?...ha ha, sometimes i still surprize even them!...anyway quick shift back to politics and the happenings at saints, geez my hormones are right out of control this week.