i have been wanting to talk about a couple of things...like learning to love twisted little bastards like clyde and how loving someone,even if they are broken can somehow help them to learn to be whole. it has to do with perceptions, how we perceive ourselves thru the mirror of others. and so every time i reflect back to clyde that he is so freaking cute and funny, he starts to feel warm inside. and every time he starts to feel warm, he grows. i am not ever going to fix clyde's problems...that would take one of those really smart trainer/behavioral type people living with him and consistently working with him 24 hours a day. what i can do is make him feel good about himself and where he belongs in this world and how much value he feels and that will get him part way there. he may not ever win the canine good citizen award but he is becoming happy and joyful and somewhat cooperative (a little more cooperative would be nice) ooops, there goes the cat food soccor bowl game again...first down, and clyde is in the game.
the other thing i wanted to talk about is how very special are the saints. they are amazing animals, like ellie, the talking, thinking, reasoning pig, she KNOWS she is a princess, she knows it because i know it thru and thru.
and here is the thing that i have figured out...the depth of personality that these animals have is NOT because i anthromorphisize them. i am fully aware of the differences in our species. but by the same token i don't de-value them either. they do have incredible depth of personality, it is just that i can see it in them because i live side by side with them, sharing everything that we have together.
to a casual visitor, ellie might just be a pig like any other and so she is, but she, like other pigs are way more complex and interesting then we ever give them credit for and that is our limit setting, not theirs. i see more in ellie than most do because i focus on her and watch and feel the real her as much as i possibly can. she truly is a phenomenol pig and she knows it because i know it too.
the very best thing about being at saints is getting to know all of the animals, the real animals inside themselves, not the ones that we define thru our wants and needs, our readings or classes or past experiences. those are all good things to bring into our understandings but we also have to be willing to let go. we have to sometimes let go of everything we think we know and just be open to whatever is really there.
clyde would most likely be dead in alot of other places, he never would have gotten past dangerously twisted and made it to amusingly warped. what a shame that would have been because he is an absolutely fascinating and beginning to shine little soul.
i am so glad he came to saints rae, i love that freaking little bastard right from his pointy little teeth to his ridiculously big flapping feet. and oh my god, when he starts wagging that funny little tail as fast as he possibly can...i see a whole and happy dog.