gideon is still doing ok, no more poops but holding his own. i think he is a very wise horse and knows to stay quiet and calm and this too shall pass. unlike swinger who in hysterical panic starts flinging himself around trying to escape from his fear.
jeanette is out flat again and softly crying. she must have tried struggling to her feet and pushed the bales away. i can't get her back up to her chest and she is exhausted now from trying. she is calmer than she was before the vet gave her the meds. i don't think she is afraid anymore but i think she knows that hope has started to sink. and i feel from her that she is sorry about that because life has been good to her all her very long years.
i don't know what to do today. mugsy has to get to the vet, it has taken weeks to coordinate this appointment. sam has to go, he is dropping weight over night and that duck is suffering too.
i can't leave jeanette alone til 10 am when i am done with the others and i can't not take care of the rest. and i am not calling the vets right now cuz they will say, ok, this is the end and i am not ready for her to end quite yet.
so i have been sitting here crying because i am going to make her wait cuz maybe we could have a small miracle and i don't want to rush too fast and not give it a chance to get here and i don't want to mess up the others who need some care too.
time to stop fussing and try to help her up again, she has had a rest for awhile and can try a bit more too. and if this doesn't work, i am going to make the vets help me roll her over cuz last time she was able to get up from the other side. and that's the last thing that i can think to try.