most of the day is a bit of a blur...i am just not feeling very great lately...nothing to worry about, just tired and woozy. (if i was tired and woozy cuz i had been into the boozy, well that might be a different thing)
but in the late afternoon as i was just feeding the frail guys, heidi came and told me that dexter was bleeding alot. i went to look at him and his tumour cavity was filled with blood and running right down his leg.
shit...4:15 on a saturday afternoon, in 45 minutes the clinics would be closed til monday. i made a snap decision, dex had a great day today. there was nothing wrong with ending a life on a great day, especially if tomorrow was going to suck. so we loaded him into the van and we took him down with heidi following behind in her car. i started to cry on the way down the hill cuz i knew dexter wasn't ready to quit yet. but i just kept thinking if he started to bleed out and the clinics were closed, we were going to be in a major crises. anyway, i tried to concentrate on every time i saw him happy today, and really it was quite alot.
dexter is not dead. the vet said it was ok, he wouldn't bleed out there because the major vessels were on the other side, running thru his groin. she said it could get messy but i don't care about that, and she said he had about a month left...because fly season is coming....ok, i know what that means.
anyway, dexter is sleeping right now in his favorite MP room, when he got home, he shopped all the shelves. heidi and i dressed his wound in case it starts bleeding again and hopefully i won't panic and try to send him off too early again either.
heidi said as soon as i went into the house to call the vet, dexter started to run after me and then trying to catch sight of me thru the windows. it was like he was saying, "hey wait, don't panic, i am ok, don't make that call!" ...actually he was saying..."oh hey! is it dinner time yet? are you going to get my food?
i have got to slow down and give him a chance to talk!