so what is the point of all of this? my headache is back, too early for idol and i am in between laundry loads. time for that introspection crap that irritates the hell out of so many.
so i am thinking...10 grand for 3.5 months of vet bills, does that mean we are going to spend $40 thousand this year?...large and small animal alike. how many have we taken in since we started? a couple of hundred? how much in food? labour, paid and volunteer? how many reno's, dump runs? how many headaches and how much have i trashed any hope of retirement security?
hmmmm. how many people don't like me, who have or have not ever met me but still don't like me because of what i do here, or what i say here or what i am here?...much easier to be someone that no one ever heard of. how many times have i been attacked or ridiculed or sneered at that i don't even know about but other people do? it is not like i don't hang myself right out there occasionally.
you know... really, what a freaking stupid thing to do....getting into providing a place for old wrecked leaky animals to hang out. and if i absolutely just had to do this, why not do it silently? just be quiet and smile and nod and look saintly and let folks draw their own conclusions....hopefully good ones cuz no one knows any better anyway.
well.... we all know i do it for the animals. it is pretty obvious if you actually come here. but is it really the reason? i don't know, my freaking head hurts, maybe it is something darker, sicker, something i am too afraid to see. maybe i am mentally ill...maybe the animals have bewitched me, taken over my body and soul and i am a puppet on a string...didn't there used to be ancient legends or recent movies about that?
bastards! they have totally messed up my life. it is just too freaking weird living this life day after day. and it costs a shit load of money. where was my brain?
ok, i am done, i am going to go play with squirt and albert, too late to kick them all out now anyway.