i wanted to say that is ok for folks to ask questions and even disagree (in a respectful, positive manner). i don't feel attacked when heidi asks why phoebe and carly are different than clyde or even when she says she feels upset. we all have different opinions, different life experiences, and different perspectives. asking questions, honestly stating how you are feeling and exchanging different opinions is a way to communicate towards understanding.
what i do object to is using questions, or differing opinions/perspectives as weapons to hurt someone else...esp. me. that pretty much pisses me off and then i get mad.
so how do you know the difference between communicating to reach understanding or using communication as a weapon to score points? i guess the only true way is to look at what you hope to gain from it, then it becomes pretty clear. we have to look at our motives, are they about finding greater understanding or are they about personal gain...like power....appearing smarter/better than others or even about self image, "look everyone, see what i do.... i fight for RIGHT in animal rescue."..well gee, good for me.
if someone wants to make me look stupid by proving themselves so much smarter than me by asking a pointed question with a whole load of intentions hidden inside of the asking...i have to ask then...what is the purpose? why do you look smart if i am proved stupid? can't you be smart without me?
some times others are protective of me. they have seen and felt the hidden questioning arrows aimed for the heart of me. but not all questions are intended to wound and i don't mind answering the ones that are asked out of genuine wanting to understand something. so please feel free to ask, even if you might not agree. i will try to tell you why i did or am doing something so at least you can try to see what i see.