most folks who know me or read the blog very often, know i am a chronic whiner and complainer...i honestly can't see the point in going thru all of this crap silently and gracefully (cuz i am neither silent nor graceful)...i am like a dog or a cat in that respect...i might have to tolerate not having everything going my way all the time but i certainly reserve the right to protest quite loudly, the unfairness of it all.
which is why probably i will never truly fall down and not get up again...you just gotta get up if you want to whine and complain. anyway for those who feel sorry for me or worry about me...it is ok...i only whine and complain while i am feeling sorry for myself, that only lasts so long before i get distracted by something else and then i am off and rolling again.
it also only lasts exactly as long as my rage and once i get rid of my anger (usually by getting rid of whoever is pissing me off..ok not nice but it is at least honest) anyway, once i am not mad anymore...(like a dog,) i am off exploring other more interesting things.
the vet came and jeanette got her pain meds, angelina is here and attending to her every need. we have a temporary house guest...sheila and leila's oliver is here...we are babysitting him for a week...he is a bit of a pain but he is also so very freaking sweet...a week won't be long enough for me to actually get sick of him and his somewhat jerky ways...and i can see the light at the end of the tunnel for when he will go home once again. jewel is never going to get adopted...she is funny and sweet, she is cute as they come, she is incredibly unique in looks, she is a great conversation peice and she is fun to play ball with...but geez that dog has alot to say and she says it as loud and annoyingly and as repetitively she possibly can...she'd be a good candidate for de-barking except we actually don't do that here...sigh, too bad...sometimes it sucks to be bound by morals.
my newest worry on my worry chart is how to approach tomorrow in the best way for percy...i am still keeping myself busy with practical things and logistics and worrying about something besides jeanette's loss...who knows what will happen tomorrow when i cannot put this off any longer. but in the meantime...do i let percy see her and smell her and be with her so he knows that she is truly gone and not just stolen away? i don't know cuz he could so easily blow out of control and then we have a bezerking and grieving 800 pound calf on our hands...but...i don't think i can lie to him either...tough day for all of us tomorrow, and deb is right, percy will have the toughest day.
so ok to worry about jeanette and percy, no need to worry about me..i have a job to do and i always do my job even if i whine and complain.