Rescue Journal

i am in a rage tonight

Carol · Sep. 4, 2008

and my friend caught the brunt of it. but i have no patience lately for anyone involved in rescue backyard gossip, esp. if it involves me. she may or may not forgive me for getting yelled at quite violently as the bearer of someone's anonoymous incorrect opinions and judgements. but that is such a cowardly act to take to her a bunch of untruths because they were too lazy or more likely, opportunistic to look for the actual truth.

my philosophy's and beliefs in rescue are mine. i take full responsibility for them and i do NOT impose them on others. i would appreciate the same courtesy back again cuz folks really don't want me to start listing the things they do that i don't agree with cuz they might not really like being on the end of that stick..... be fair here...do your thing and use your time doing it well and quit trying to take over the rest of the rescue world. let's be honest....i don't like your way, that's why i don't do it..... BUT, i respect your right to do it your way.
there is a lack of respect that permeates the rescue world that somehow allows some people to insist there is only their way. they do it right, their animals are never sick or die, they never send their animals out to the wrong home, they never euth an unredeemable animal (they just silently disappear and are never spoken of again.)

they have all of the answers and presume they can teach every grandmother in rescue how to suck eggs....of course tho, they do it thru a third or fourth or fifth party....much safer and less likely to splash back on them.

except...these folks are not doing rescue, they are too busy stirring the ego pot....i don't like pot stirrers, they take up space, fill the world with their BS, get in the way of rescue work and are freaking useless energy suckers thru and thru.
hows that for me speaking my mind?

i had a shitty day today. i have milowsky in at the vets and booked for more surgery tomorrow on his ear which took a sudden turn for the worst. squeakers bloodsugars were over thirty today and we lost our lovely darla. i have an unhappy cat in my bathtub and i can't have a hot bath again tonight.

i spent most of today not with the animals but sorting thru piles of donations. i have a spoiled rotten tiny but freaking cute chi with broken ribs who yelled at me most of the night when i wanted to be sleeping because i wouldn't let her out of her pen to be with me....her ribcage is expanding quite well and she no longer has any trouble with breathing (or yelling.)
tonight, i don't want to hear that someone is obviously misinformed, misrepresenting their actual knowledge and spreading around that tunie is stuck in the barn 24/7 without any company. when in fact the back barn doors are open for her from 8 am each morning to 8 pm each evening unless it is pissing down, freezing cold rain. AND we spend alot of quality time with her each and every day and thru out the day with extra visits too.

i don't want to hear that we are possibly being abusive and feeding her non stop from neglectful guilt when tunie gets one-half a small measured scoop of elder pot belly pig food and a small apple at breakfast and supper...oh, and occasionally a banana when we actually have some....gee, i so just want to take that little bit of food away from her because then no one can say we overfeed her.
geez leave us alone...leave HER alone, she is really and truly happy for the first time in her entire life.

i already had to deal with the "i am starving the barn guys" stupidity, now i have to deal with the "i am feeding tunie to death"...screw off...no one knows (til i just posted this) what tunie is eating except me, mo, trina, renee, angelina, laura and lana cuz we are the only ones who actually feed her....and as far as i know...until tonight, NO ONE has actually asked any of us what she happens to eat....does someone have hidden cameras inside our barn, is this how they know how much she eats?
you know folks, you can't control the entire world to suit you, you can't even come close to controlling me, not even from a safe distance, so why even try...all you can control is your very own ethics, behavior and practice and that has nothing to do with what happens at saints.

i am the one doing it here (with alot of solid gold, true blue and actually sincere and dedicated help)...i am the one who knows the hows and whys and where for's...i am the one who has actually has taken on the responsibility for the care given here. and NO ONE has asked me a god damn thing.
i am pretty pissed at someone tonight and don't think too highly of whoever it is. lucky to be anonymous right now when my rage is flying high.
pleaseeeee...go get a life, go rescue a freaking animal, for chrissakes find SOMETHING actually productive to do, leave me alone for a change... do me a favor and pretend i don't even exist and then i can forget about whoever you are too.
i am so tired of the bloodsucking, know it all, do nothing except spew out uninformed opinions and stir up the pot crap...can't they discover politics?...they like this kind of useless unsubstantiated bullshitty backstabbing sensationalistic baby crap over there.

people shouldn't bug me on a bad day....i guarantee...i will bite.

Comments

Carol

lol deb...you so remind me of jazz.

now there was an incredible creature...geez i forgot how much i miss her.

Deb

Oh, and I'll metaphorically stomp anyone who continues to harass you with my Size 10 Doc Martens. :)

Deb

You don't want to stomp on people, Carol, which is cool. It really isn't in your nature to be nasty, and you still....after all the bullshit you have dealt with, want to see the best, or at least some shimmer of goodness, in most everyone.
There are several of us who will kick the garbage to the curb where it belongs, because we understand what you are doing, and don't give a good Goddamn whose feelings get hurt because we know that the liars know that they are liars.
Sometimes "nice" doesn't cut it. When lies are being told about the care of animals at S.A.I.N.T.S. is one of those times.

Carol

sadly deb is right...but i really do not want to stomp on people... i just want them to open their eyes and be truthful about what they are up to and take responsibility for the reality of what they are actually doing and why...not the made up in their heads justification story ...this is about the animals..... honestly and truly it really is not, it is about people, and the very biggest rescue lie that gets told over and over...being about the animals is actually holding animals in your hands and helping them...no matter what the cost is to yourself...it is not and never has been about poking accusatory sticks at other rescues or impressing the heck out of anyone.

i am so tired of all of this....mo is right, it just never, ever ends...but whatever little patience i had is now gone...keep this crap out of saints and away from me and i will not bug anyone... BUT i am not going to tolerate it being brought thru our gates anymore....i simply cannot emotionally buffer the sneaky, underground bullshit that some people drag around with them and try to bring in here.

lynne

that is everything i would have liked to have said but did not know how to. so true, you do know how to explain yourself, wish i was like that. if the people that were judging spent half the time helping the innocent animals what a better place this would be.
carol has a long road to walk abut there is lots of little feet to help her along. Saints is not just a shelter it is a home and i know the animals love it there. so do the volunteers

Deb

Here's my perspective. Take it, leave it, have it erased, I don't care. It's what I believe to be true.

There are a lot of people (individuals, groups, other "rescues"/"rescuers", what have you) who resent the hell out of S.A.I.N.T.S.

There are at least a few reasons, to my way of thinking, why this is true:

1) S.A.I.N.T.S. is recognized as a well run, animal oriented, successful Sanctuary. As such, when there is a need for help (as in the time Jeanette needed to be moved and a whole lot of good people came out to make sure she was moved safely and successfully) it is most often there. People are drawn to S.A.I.N.T.S. because Carol doesn't pretend to be able to do it all alone. She doesn't beg, plead, guilt or harass people for help because she doesn't need to.

2) S.A.I.N.T.S. gets more financial donations than many other animal related charities. Why? See # 1.
There will never be enough donations to keep S.A.I.N.T.S. feet away from the fire for very long, but Carol doesn't have to beg for basics. People believe in S.A.I.N.T.S., and know that Carol is not a looney-toon. Fundraisers that take hours and hours of planning by volunteers are held so that some of the most worrisome bills can get paid, are becoming a tradition.

3) Carol is a realist. In a world of people who think they can read animals' minds or substitute animals for humans in emotional relationships, Carol is the person who says "You are being unfair, let the dog be a dog." Carol reminds people that we are here to care for the animals, it is not their job to fill our needs.

4) Carol is imperfect, but many people are drawn to her (it's not what she wants, but it's a reality that she is forced to deal with) and then there are the people who want to BE her. Those people really have no clue as to how hard it is to be Carol, they just see the attention, the adoration, the few highlights in a world of low lights. They choose not to see the fear, the sorrow, the anger, the loneliness, the desperation, the self-doubt. Convenient, that.

5) Carol does rescue. She is a Rescuer. Her Sanctuary is a permanent home to some, a way-station to others. She is not a foster care provider, she did not adopt a dog rescued by someone else and call herself a Rescuer. The animals at S.A.I.N.T.S. are her responsibility, for life, good or bad, long or short.

6) Carol does what she believes to be right for each and every S.A.I.N.T. She makes no excuses, and she owes nobody any explanations. That makes her place in the world pretty daunting at times. Most people don't have the nerve to live by the sword in case they have to die by the sword.

7) Carol doesn't put a lot of faith into people who have no practical or realistic expectations of animals. Pragmatism is unusual in rescue, most people prefer the "happily-ever-after" school. Carol also knows bullshit when she sees it, and will protect herself from liars, thieves and those who intend to do her or her S.A.I.N.T.S harm.

8) Accusing Carol of abusing, neglecting or injuring her S.A.I.N.T.S is going to open the accuser up to a world of hurt. She's not likely to say "Oh, you were mistaken." She is likely to say "Get out of my face, who the hell do you think you are?"
And she'll be backed by those who actually KNOW what happens at S.A.I.N.T.S. The volunteers, the employees, the visitors, the Vets. People with hidden agendas and old grudges get stomped at S.A.I.N.T.S.

Marisa

Carol, thank you for rescuing the animals. Thank you for doing your good deed. Get some rest, and perhaps some ear-plugs :) you deserve it.