i think it sucks....

that not only am i a freaking bleach addict and slave and seriously fun shopping to me means picking out new mop heads to wash the floor. but now in the dark of the night, i am apparently.....

a human wedgy too.

jeezus, no lie...i had all of 6 inches of space in my bed to lay on my left side....and all down the front of me was chica, eddie, cuddles and sunny and who knew who was wedging me in from behind cuz i couldn't turn over to see.

so, yikes, i had to get up this morning and i couldn't roll forward for sure so i took a chance and tried backward...i made the right choice. mostly it was younger ones who i did not care if i squished.

suzie had my head weged but that was ok cuz i knew she was there so i could be careful not to flatten her as i tried to roll over. beau the idiot puppy was upside down, belly up, squished lengthwise along my whole back and chyna his best idiot friend (who i told at bedtime couldn't come up cuz the bed was already full) was curled into a tight steel furry ball in the hollow behind my knees.

i shoved those two not the least frail things outta my way so i could get up.

so here is the thing here....when i was a child, i had dreams...

i wanted to go to south africa and end the injustice there, i wanted to move south in my own country and share a dinner in a public resturant with a black person like that was such a terrible thing (we are talking the 60's here folks), i wanted to walk in a peace march or go to vietnam and help find peace over there cuz i was sure they would listen to me...i wondered if mother theresa would be nice to work with or would she be like the mean nuns my friends told me about..... mean nuns scare me as much as mean clowns scare me...somethings just aren't meant to be mean.
really, i had dreams of doing something big in this world...not smiling in contented happiness when bleach odours waft thru the air cuz that means the floors are clean again, or being a human wedgy to a bunch bed grabbing beings (who happen to make the bleach around here necessary.)

i think it sucks that i have let myself be reduced to small petty concerns (no, the animals themselves are not petty, i believe they have huge impoortance) but the actual nitty gritty caring for them mostly is.

shit, man...i was going to be the first female president of the united states...and look at who we ALMOST got instead...hilary freaking clinton? i could have done way better than that!

(and the white house would have been clean too.)

comparing your childish dreams to your middle aged reality totally sucks big time if you ask me.

(and not once did i ever dream of being dr, doolittle cuz i thought he was a moron back then and still do.)