i decided to rescue murphy the first time almost 3 years ago when i saw him tied in that carport sick and alone. i rescued him 2 more times when both of the homes we found for him gave up. no one could deal with his skin condition which is just beyond me....cuz it really is not a big deal. i did little in his actual rescues except support mo while she took him under her wing and approve his final homes. in all of those three years, i never got a chance to know him...he was in foster or adoptive homes but never with me....but i knew he was always and forever my responsibility.
there were three black dogs that i loved and lost in my childhood, all of them taken away from me. buzzy with his epilepsy who bit a kid chasing me, spot the stray who chased my father's parishioners and bentley the lost who my cousin look in the middle of a saskatchewan winter and left at the lake....all of them black, all of them midsized, all of them with exactly the same face and head...and all of them chose me.
funny that since that time i have never felt the same childhood connection with any of the black dogs who came to me. but murphy has the same face as buzzy, and spot and bentley...and he has the same "this is the way it is" personality.
all of them were deep, peaceful dogs. all of them had a quiet sense of humour. all of them somehow took over me in pretty much the very same way....they just moved in.
and so tonight murph has taken over 3/4's of my bed. he had his feet shoved into my back and his head upon my pillow. and sometime in the past few weeks, murph has decided to own me. it is not demanding, it is not in need...it simply is what it is, accepted...a plain black homeless dog, a girl, (now growing old, but still in someways a child) a bed, a pillow and everything is as it is supposed to be.....just like when i was a kid.
what i find truly strange is how come i did not see it until today?
i wonder, do dogs reincarnate and come back to find a long gone child who still feels their loss and her childish failure at responsibility?
mo was hurt and worried when murph finally came here to live, she so wanted him to have a great home.
it's ok mo...murph is content altho we might have to have a talk about his side of the bed and mine because i am bigger than i used to be.