Rescue Journal

me and the blog.

Carol  ·  Feb. 18, 2009

carrie and i were talking about the blog today and about how we are perceived. steve and i had the same conversation earlier in the week (he told me i can't use the "F" word anymore...good luck.)

there is no doubt that i have more than a bit of a irreverent rebel in me...i suppose it comes from being a preacher's kid.

but this blog for me is a matter of self respect. i couldn't really respect myself if i was dishonestly writing a bunch of politically correct fantasy. the truth of the matter is that when i made that insulin dose error...i wasn't standing there sheepishly saying "oh dearie me, i just made a boo-boo"....i was almost but not quite violently banging my very stupid head on the very hard floor and saying over and over again "you f'ing stupid idiot... look at what you f'ing just did!!!!"

maybe it would serve saints better if i was nicer and spoke more polite and refrained from calling phoebe an utter hag. maybe i could just tell warm and wonderfully sweet and touching angel stories about not only them but us and me as well.

i could tell you what a horrible life they came from and how by our kindness and dedication and our faith in them we brought everyone happily forever around. it was fun, it was gentle, it was clean and sweet and kind...we worked so very hard and so perfectly well. look at what we did here by our dedication and our incredible purity, we gave them heaven instead of hell. everything would be easy to read, easy to imagine, ...even easy to understand.....just one very bright never ending happy ever after fairy tale. (i am SERIOUSLY gagging here now.)

ok, so how does that respect how hard this really is? not just the work that we do but that we do it as damaged and flawed and imperfect as the animals we are trying to help. this is really quite amazing if you ask me.

most days around here.."golly gee, i did a boo-boo" just doesn't describe it every well....especially when you know that what you just did could harm one of the ones you really care for... but that lovely and descriptive "f" word describes that sickened and sinking and yes even angry at yourself feeling really quite well.

i think it is disrespectful to me to turn this whole freaking thing into a lovely children's bedtime tale. i think it is disrespectful to the animals to minimize what being homeless (and at my occasional stupid mercy) actually means. i think it is disrespectful to people who come here to share real life at saints to be fed a bunch of whitewashed and politically correct and positively happy feel-good drivel.

this is really it man...the good, the bad, the ugly, the dirty, the stupid, the insane and the blindingly honest purity of what really happens around here day after day.

i swear like a trooper. i make fun of twisted things. i love and am committed to these beloved little bastards thru every single good, bad and indifferent thing.

saints isn't for everyone and neither is this blog...maybe it is too graphic, maybe it is too raw...maybe i could tone it down and make it nicer and prettier but then that wouldn't be the real would just be nice...awwwww.

i love this place and those that live here more than pretty much anything. and i will not (or cannot) sell out and become a Public Relations Say-It-Nicely (and if you can't, pretend it didn't happen and don't say anything) and fluff it up all pretty so it goes down more easily.

rescue is not pretty and neither are the folks who do it. our clothes are dirty 5 minutes into the day, we waste time on a haircut maybe once a year, we forget to look if our finger nails are clean as we rush down to the vets, and we can have not only warped senses of humour but sailor mouths too.

and i wouldn't re-fabricate the reality of it for anything or anyone in the world....shoot me dead before i ever become a PR machine...i would rather roast in hell for saying F___ a few times too many. (i only really spell the whole word on here when i am really upset)



Your blog is best left the way it is. If you start censoring your language, you may as well start censoring the horror stories of neglect, abuse, and abandonment. Language, like life, isn't always sunshine and rainbows.
I really appreciate following your blog, because you are brutally honest, and it seems to me that your blog helps you blow off some steam, too.

Thanks for writing, please keep it up just the way you have been!!


in all fairness, the folks who like cleaner language are probably afraid to say anything (except steve, sadly he is as afraid of me as the cow...not) cuz i might start swearing at them...i promise i won't...the "f" word is for the real bad days and is almost always directed at me.


I love your blog exactly as it is - true and honest. If people do not like it, they dont have to read it. Let off steam when you need to.

That new "Fluke" dog sounds great - I do love the ones who still think they are pups.


Hey but have you noticed all the replys to this post not one has accually spelled out the f word completely...except my quote...its all been f___ or F#@% or Fing some abreveated form of it.....thanx point made :) N :)........K now no posts tellin me to go F#@% O%%


Jeees I guess I got told...It was mearly a suggestion for the people who are new around here...n have never been to the ranch.....I'm a bit of a p.r. man..(I have to sell my company's work)I just was thinkin some lady in portland who was lookin for some worthy cause to donate her vast fortunes came accross our beloved blog on the net...may keep personally couldn't care less...just was thinkin that anyways....I know.. I know... lll stop thinkin n keep on buildin..... :) :) :)


If people can't understand and accept who you are and what you do, that is their problem, not yours. You might not be the person people expect you to be, but you are very likely the person you are supposed to be. If that means anything at all! :)

Stan Labatte

HhhhMMmmmm Gee I LOVE you and your blog just the way you are..... I Especially love the way you looked me right in the eye and told me how it is.. When the shit hits the fan in my world your the trusted friend I call.. because I know your going to tell me the truth weather I am going to like it or not.. You have the courage to tell it like it is, In life and in the blog..I have have had the privilege of being invited into your castle and sleep on the couch in the spare room. To sit in the morning and watch you write a blog over Tea surrounded by many many happy dogs and cats. I really truly believed I was witnessing something great.. A true thought leader having the courage to stand up and say what you believe in, And like most thought leader totally misunderstood in their time. Their true brilliance not fully realized for many years later after there passing. You are number two on my hero's of the world list.. ( My Mom being # 1) Just my Thought's for what it's worth ..... (maybe two cents or a grain of salt) Stan


I'm liking Steves " Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck" though. Very nursery rhyme like!

The Food Lady

Dude, f*ck that. I'm a potty mouth too, loud and proud. Maybe when you feel things keenly, you just need a more emotive way to express yourself.

I give a shit, so I swear a fuckofalot ;-)

Personally, I find a little bit of the ribald endears one to me.



I'm a rebel at heart as well and am not offended when a hear a good cuss word when it's appropriate. Lets face it when you clean up sh.. all day long, you're allowed to give it too.


Pat Jones

I would,nt change anything on your blog if people don,t
like it they don,t have to read it.


did you just make an unholy reference to the pig princess's most beloved pink ear?


the best part about your blog is you tell the truth and i proba bly swear as much as you so i dont give a f..... if you swear on your blog or not lol it is reality and thesse animals are not perfect, they do piss you off and you are allowed to vent on the blog keep doing what you are doing. i love reading the blog it is better than a novel, which by the way would make a great book.


If people are shocked or offended etc by the reality of you and life at SAINTS and the blog they can click on something else. What's the point in covering it all in rose petals? It's not REAL that way. And lets face it - reality is alot of F____ S_____ sometimes. I have a mouth like a fish wife sometimes (usually when I'm driving) I don't want to have to think washing out my mouth before I speak. Keep the blog real.


Hey I didn't say you had to live in a fairy world of gumdrops n lolliepops.(that ain't gonna happen...n it aint you)...I just mearly suggested that you refrain from making truckers blush....some little old christian lady may want to donate her life savings to the great cause you have up there and may be turned off by your Fuck fuck fuckety fuck....might I suggest.....Freakin frickin even F@#%* is fine....just alittle self control darlin.......Man even I can't make a silk purse outta a sow's ear....but maybe a nice little dinner bag :) :) :)