it was from a rescue argument a few months before the diary entry and before the advent of saints. i was accused of being an egomaniac because i pretty much always use the first person..."i."
back then i did not want to be an egomaniac...so i thought "we" was more politically correct and less egomaniacal...since then i have learned that there is stuff in rescue that "we" do and there is stuff that "i" do and there is nothing wrong with that.
in re-reading the diary entry...i had to laugh at my own stupidity...there honestly wasn't any "we" back in feb 2005...kathy k hadn't arrived yet and neither had mo...they both came in the spring....there was just me and my freaking big dream and a couple of dozen old, leaky animals.
not to say i was ALONE either. there were good folks i knew who helped me get the place started, helped me do the move...deb for one was there even back then but she hadn't become part of "we"...deb??? since you are stuck on the BOD...we are "we" now...yes???
but in reality...here is the thing about "we"......"we" can come and go..."we" can get mad...move on, take vacations, change our minds, uproot and transfer jobs to a whole different country...."we" can do alot of things that "i" cannot do.
very little in life is an absolute...except my current committment to the guys living here. and even i may one day decide to retire but it will take a long time in planning because when i retire, whoever is left here goes into retirement with me. never would i leave any behind...not even freakoid phoebe.
so that is what i learned over the past four years..."we" is "we" and "i" is "i" and they are similar and connected but fundamentally completely different stories.
and if that makes me an egomaniac, so be it..i can live with it cuz truthfully ain't no "we" getting peed on in bed at night...that would just be "me."
i have to say tho...i have been accused of egomania several times since then...well, if the shoe fits wear it...my ego has accomplished alot in four years.
but really...back then, even after more than 10 years in rescue... i had no idea i was such an innocent baby.
looking back is fun....i think.